Elmo

Tickle Me Elmo scared the noodles out of my daughter. It was given to her as a gift and we were all sure it would crack her up. And then the moment came. Elmo was placed in front of her and turned on.
It even scared me. As he laughs, he falls over violently and then back, in Frankenstein-like, jerky motions, kicking his legs and laughing in a voice that sounds like it's coming from a drive-thru speaker.
My daughter opened her eyes wide and reared back, making a sound that was not quite a cry. It was more like a hee-haw. Seriously. Then she started crying and clawing at the air behind but could not seem to take her terror stricken eyes off of Mr. Elmo.
We tried again.
This time, Elmo fell over onto her legs. He falls hard! And this completely un-did her.
Every time he moves, you can hear gears grinding and his feet are really heavy so they make a very loud knocking sound when they are kicked against the floor. He's not very lovable.
Poor thing.
We haven't turned it on in weeks. Sometimes she crawls over to him and touches an eyeball tentatively. When she sees he's not going to move, she knocks him over and crawls away.
As if she's saying, "Ha! That'll show 'em!"

Goodies

Who wants their kids eating buckets of candy in a few weeks? Raise your hand.

Who wants their kids to miss out on all the fun? Raise your hand.

That's what I thought. This is a dilemma many of us are facing so I would like to share with you an idea from an expert.

Thresa has two little boys, Kaleb, 4 and Jude, 3. Last Halloween, Thresa went out and bought fun, inexpensive toys like yo-yos, puzzles, play dough, finger paints, and bubbles. She also purchased sugar free treats that she knew her boys like, such as sugar free pudding, Popsicles and yogurt. Then she put a candy price tag on each item. She told Kaleb (Jude didn't really get it yet) that if he wanted, say, a yo-yo, he had to give up 5 pieces of candy. Something like a monster truck might yield a higher price of 10 pieces of candy.
You could tailor your prizes to your child of course.
Thresa found that her 4-year-old eventually gave up most of his candy in exchange for toys and, after she explained that candy is not healthy for our bodies, gave up the rest for healthier snacks.
Healthy bodies is a talk Thresa has often with her boys which may be why this was so utterly successful for her but I believe that even those of us who have never once had this talk with our children can benefit from this little bartering system.
Now, what to do with all the candy? We certainly should not eat it ourselves! Although we may be tempted to stash in the closet or on top of the fridge in a non see through bag, why don't you take it to work or give it to someone to do so? Place it in a big bowl on a counter or desk. There are usually so many people in a work place that if everyone takes two, it will be gone in a day or two and everyone's happy, healthy and CALM. For the most part, anyway.
And you don't have to spend tons of cash. Hit the dollar store for your treats and you'll get more for your money.
Thank you, Thresa!
By the way, I don't think there's any harm in stashing a few pieces of candy, do you?

RE: The Belly

This is a response I got from my good friend in California to last weeks blog about Belly Fat.

"I also hate the magazines that praise mothers for getting their baby weight off.
Thank you main stream media for glorifying great moms, or good parenting, or spending time with your kids, or sacrifice...no, instead your greatness is identified only by your size two body being back. Thank God we can look at you again, because that extra weight...it was unbearable.
uhhhh.."

I got so many great responses from all of you concerning this topic! Thank you all for your support!

P.S. Ms. Foo is waving, clapping, starting to high five, dancing to music, imitating her dad when he burps, and laughing her behind off all the time.

I LOVE MS. FOO!!!

And I love all of you, too.

Don't forget!

The most important thing to remember in the first few weeks of being alone with your baby: YOU HAVE TO EAT!
In the very beginning, there is a swarm of people surrounding you, wanting to hold the baby and hopefully making you some chicken soup. But after about six weeks, you will inevitably find yourself alone sometimes. Maybe even for a whole day. As you are trying to understand the rhythm of life with your new baby and how to juggle showers and laundry with feedings every two hours and five poopy diapers a day, you may reach 3 in the afternoon and realize you have not eaten.
And this may be the most important thing you do for yourself because if you are not well fed, you will not have body strength or mental lucidity to make good choices for your baby.
Eat well. Sounds easier than it really is. What do you eat? When do you have time to prepare a healthy meal? How do you not just grab five chocolate chip cookies for breakfast?
You keep healthy foods in your house that you can grab and eat.
Grapes. Baby carrots, popcorn, bananas, cherry tomatoes, good whole-grain cereal like total and honey bunches of oats(not cinnamon toast crunch or trix), raisins for your cereal, cold cuts and cheese, rice cakes, peanut butter, yogurt, hummus. Keep frozen strawberries on hand and throw them in the blender with milk or orange juice and a banana. Make these items part of your grocery list and just plain leave out the cookies and ice cream for a while. If you don't, you will end up eating these all day because they are easy. But the foods mentioned above are easy too, hardly require any preparation and are HEALTHY!
Soon, you will find a balance and you will learn to do almost everything with one hand while you carry your baby. But for now, concentrate on getting enough rest (nap with your baby) and eating well. The laundry will get done. Your strength is more important.

Barrel of Monkeys

I've found out the Ms. Foo, who is 9 months old, loves to play Barrel of Monkeys! Of all the colorful, blinking, flashing, singing, spinning toys we have bought her, this plain green barrel of monkeys has been her favorite.
I sit across from her and begin play alone, pulling apes out of the barrel, connecting them, putting them back in, starting again. Ms. Foo pulls them out, puts one half way in her mouth, clutches one in each hand, and bounces up and down. I just keep going, quietly singing a song that recites the names of our whole family as she pulls at the little green plastic chain, dumps over the barrel, grabs fistfuls of monkeys. She even tries to help me make the chain but has not developed the motor skills to connect them yet. She just touches the chain with the one she is holding and then looks at me a bit confused.
Of course, this has to be a supervised game because they could possibly be choked on if not watched carefully. But it's really fun! We have actually played this game for 30 MINUTES! That is a record. And it cost less than $3.

The Wonderous Grocery Store Travels

The other day I went to three different stores and only bought some meat, avocados, and cheese. It was great. I left Ms. Foo at home with her dad and walked all over the neighborhood. I took my headphones, a big, baggy hooded sweatshirt and big sunglasses. I wanted to be incognito. I went to the health food store looking for this magic soap everyone is raving about. It was, of course, the price of a professional spa treatment. I did not buy it. I stopped at a vending table outside on the sidewalk and looked at the hand made earrings. I went to a tiny market looking for avocados but they were no good. I walked some more. Glanced at the out door thrift market. Wandered on down to the bakery where there was no bread for some reason so I bought none. Meandered back to the grocery store. Bought a few things. Chatted with the woman who bags groceries. She asked for the baby. I told her she was at home with her dad.
"That's great!" she said.
And it was. Not everyone is able to commit to a weekly class or group and for some of us, a part time job would only bring in enough money to pay for someone to watch the baby while we are at work. And, as I have mentioned before, some days you feel like pulling your hair out. But, you know what? I always have to go to the grocery store. And I have decided to go it alone, if I can. It can be a nice, long walk or drive. I am not far away if I have to rush home for some reason.
It cleared my head, I didn't spend money I didn't absolutely have to, and I didn't have one iota of guilt.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

The Belly

At what point to people think it's ok to comment on your weight? Do they think they are doing you a favor, pointing out something you had over looked? You know, I just had a baby. And I do not have a personal trainer. So I still have a belly. So does every one else that had a baby around the same time I did. Is it something I should be ashamed of?
A friend of mine with a 7 month old little boy recently went to the dermatologist to see about a strange itch on her belly and was offered laser surgery to fix her belly.
My neighbor with a three month old baby gets asked, "Your still pregnant?"
Once, a woman I had just met at a barbecue said how much she missed babies now that her kids were grown and then said, "So, you're pregnant again?" Then when I declined a shot of tequila another woman said in a very loud aside, "She's pregnant, right?"
NO!
You know, people had more tact when I actually was pregnant.
People I used to work with:
"Wow, you really...grew. Are you pregnant again?"
Yes, I grew. Yes, my belly protrudes a little. Yes, I have stretch marks. And you know what? I LOVE IT! I grew and carried a baby in this body! And I really believe that this little pouch I have is what is feeding my baby (I breast feed) as it is slowly disappearing as she grows. I know that I had healthy habits during my pregnancy and continue to do so. (Not that I don't love chocolate cake). When I look at my self in the mirror, I feel strong and proud.
But when I go out, I think every one's eyes go straight to my belly. I even ask people I feel more comfortable with, "What are you looking at? My belly? My fat belly?" I feel like everyone is disappointed with me for not being able to fit into my pre pregnancy jeans yet.
But the truth is, I don't care about that! I have a baby, and this is all part of it. I think I look great! And so does my neighbor and my friend with the itchy belly. (That just means that you are healing from birth).
It took nine months for your body to grow with child. It takes about a year to get back to "normal". It's such a beautiful time. Hormones raging and your brand new menstrual cycle getting kicked off. Getting to hold your child all the time and watch her learn to talk and move about. Why can't they just let us revel in that, it will never happen again, not in this same way. Why can't they let us have our belly fat?
The next time some one asks me if I am pregnant while I am holding my relatively new born baby, I'm going to say
"No. I just love to eat." or, "No, are you?" Ha ha! Thanks to my two aunts for those responses, by the way.
I love this new body that I have. It makes me feel solid and accomplished. But that does not mean it does not hurt when people are insensitive and mean.
I find myself looking at others who recently had babies, comparing my self to them.
It's strange the strength of both sides of my feelings. Like they belong to two different people.
One connected to the mother spirit, confident in her purpose.
The other shying off to the corners, sucking in her belly.
My life is a Ferris wheel. Do you ever feel that way?

A question and some celery

I received a question asking which Grandmother's gave the advice for yesterday's blog.
Well, onion tea was given to me by a sweet woman who is Ms. Foo's adopted Grandmother. Ms. Foo is named after her and we love her very much.
The ginger tea was a remedy used by my husband's grandmother in Mexico.
The tomato and salt on the throat was given to me by my own grandmother on my mother's side.
And, finally, the boiled rice water by my neighbor's grandmother in Macedonia.

The question also asked if they work.
I have personally tried the onion and ginger teas and have found them SUPER effective. I have also given the recipe to a few other people and they have come back to me astounded at their strength.

I have not tried the tomato yet, but my grandmother has never given me advice that did not carry.

The rice water I have not tried either but I have heard it from a few other people, including the woman who suggested the onion tea.

AND here is another one for colicky babies:

Boil celery. Mix one ounce of it's water in a bottle with baby's milk or plain water or juice.
Usually, colicky baby's become fussy at around the same time every day. If you administer the celery water about half an hour before your baby gets fussy, it will really help if not get rid of the problem.

I helped care for a colicky baby a few years ago. He was crying and crying. The upstairs neighbor came down stairs with a stalk of celery in her hand and told us about this remedy. We gave it to him and he fell fast asleep. So, I know this one works.

Tips from the Grandmothers

• For chest congestion and cough:

Take half a red onion and cut into quarters
Boil it with cinnamon, half a lime and honey

This acts as an expectorant. It will make you cough even more, but you will be coughing up all the phlegm that is in your chest. You will feel much better but you must drink it again in about eight hours.

It doesn't taste at all like onion. It tastes like cinnamon and honey

• For fever:

Strong ginger tea. It will make you sweat the fever out.

• For sore throat:

Slice a tomato. Sprinkle salt on the slices and place them on your throat. This will suck the infection out of your throat.

• For baby's sick tummy

Boil rice. Feed your baby the water from that rice. It settles their stomach.