The Weaning Monster

Of all the milestones we will witness in the first years of baby's life, weaning may be the most dreaded (along with potty training). This may be because we associate weaning with some level of trauma, a lot of crying, and engorged breasts.
According to Anne Smith, Board Certified Lactation Consultant and La Leche League leader, this does not necessarily have to be the case.
Anne notes that weaning should be viewed as a DEVELOPMENTAL stage just like rolling over, walking, or taking solid foods and that all babies develop at different rates. It's not an event that must be decided by you. Some babies may be ready to wean after a few months while others may take a year or even more.
There are some instances when abrupt weaning is inevitable due to an illness in the mother, medications that come through the milk or because the mother becomes pregnant while still nursing. But, unless absolutely necessary, weaning should always be a gradual process.
Ms. Smith tells us that abrupt weaning is not only traumatic to the child, who has no way of understanding why he or she suddenly can't nurse, it is also dangerous to you. Your breasts becoming dramatically engorged due to sudden lack of nursing can cause infection or abscess. Also, the drastic drop in hormone levels can cause severe depression.

When you feel you and your baby are both ready to start the weaning process, remember it doesn't have to happen all at once.
Start by eliminating one feeding a day. Try a feeding that is used as nutrition and not comfort. For example, an afternoon "snack" feeding that does not lead to a nap instead of a night time feeding.
When you do eliminate the feeding, don't feel you have to avoid cuddling and skin contact as not to confuse your child (some people think holding your child close will make him or her think it's time to nurse). It is important during weaning that you find new ways to nurture and bond with your baby. Instead of nursing, read a book, sing a song and share a snack. Instead of breast milk, offer something you know she likes, maybe fruit or juice. By this time, your baby should be eating a lot more food as well so she might not "ask" or signal that she wants to breast feed as often as in the beginning.
Now, you may ask, "Why not just switch to cow's milk and leave it at that?"
After breast milk, which is slightly sweet, many babies do not like the taste of cow's milk. While you should still start introducing cow's milk slowly to babies over a year old, it is not always a good immediate substitute for breast milk.

When you are both used to your new routine and your milk supply had adjusted, eliminate another feeding.
Keep on in this way until only the night time feeding is left.
This is usually the last feeding to go and the hardest to give up.
Make sure your baby is full. A good dinner and a sippy cup before he is sleepy is a good way to ensure this. Then, rock your baby to sleep and avoid the nursing position, whether it is in a chair or lying down. Try walking around and singing him to sleep. There is no reason to leave your baby alone and crying to take him off of the breast. You must still nurture and comfort him, even if he cries. Especially if he cries.

Now, what do you put in the sippy cup if baby doesn't like milk, like my little darling? Well, you can pump your own milk if you'd like. The point is getting your child off of your breast and used to a cup.
You do not necessarily have to wean your baby on cow's milk. Find something that she likes. One mother I spoke to weaned all three of her children on pineapples and cottage cheese. I have found yogurt a good substitute in my case.

Another thing to think about is planning ahead. After a few months of straight breast feeding, when you are positive your child is latching on correctly, try introducing a bottle of breast milk a few times a week. This way, when you are ready to wean, a bottle or cup will be nothing new. In my experience, I did not do this and she refused the bottle from the get go of weaning, so it has been a bit more of a challenge for me. She actually threw all bottles to the floor.

Weaning is not always easy and there are a thousand different ways that it could go. Proceed slowly. Have patience and understanding. This is not a battle of wills, it the end of a beautiful part of your relationship with your baby and should be sent off gently and with love.

Sources:

Breast Feeding Basics: Anne Smith, IBCLC

Baby Center Medical Advisory Board