What do you do when your baby is hitting other people and other people's kids!!! She's only 11 months old, but she understands, boy.
If I say "no" and frown, she does it again, looking right at me! Then again. And then again. I try to show her to be gentle but it seems like she is physically incapable of being gentle right now.
I don't want to just let her go at it but it seems like she thinks me saying "no" is a game.
Or a challenge. (dom dom doooommm).
Just kidding.
Apparently the worst thing I can do is make a big deal about it. According to Pediatrician Karen Sadler from Children's Hospital Medical Center in Boston, Massachusetts, babies have a very natural desire to see and explore much more than their physical and verbal abilities will allow and this makes them frustrated. And they express this frustration in forms of hitting, biting and temper tantrums.
I believe that, as well as frustration, these things (except maybe the temper tantrum) could also be excitement. When she's playing with someone, sometimes she gets this wild look on her face as she takes a big breath and a tremor goes through her body. She breaks into a huge grin and it seems like her body can't contain it all so she just has to whack somebody!
Well, all explanations aside, it's still not good for my daughter to go around hitting her friends, and mine. But Sadler says that if the hitting receives a lot of attention, it will just get worse. I know this first hand as Ms. Foo just adds little yelps to the hits if I raise my voice. So, Sadler's advice is to say "no" once, remove the baby from the situation and go on to some other activity. It's fruitless to keep saying "no", get a hit, "no", hit, "no", hit.
And to remember that the behavior will usually improve as your child's verbal skills develop.
Whew.
Now, what about throwing cheerios on the floor and dumping milk out on the high chair tray? What is that an expression of?
Hope you all had a happy Thanksgiving!
November 28, 2008
November 26, 2008
Motrin
I hadn't seen the Motrin commercial. Had any of you? I just happened by it today on the Internet.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mztymu72l7c
Watch it if you would like.
I think they could have gone about it differently.
The ad is about taking Motrin to deal with the pain of wearing your baby in a sling. I, personally, have never experienced an amount of pain sufficient enough to warrant taking a pain med, and I wear Ms. Foo all the time.
This doesn't mean others don't. So, sure, market the drug to us moms. Why not?
They could have said,
"Oh, la la la, it's so hard being a mom, lugging a stroller up and down stairs in the subway, carrying your baby around the house, wearing her in a baby Bjorn, running after her, changing her diaper while she squirms, getting a headache when she unloads an entire book shelf".
Wearing a baby is not the only part of mother hood that may cause you sore muscles.
Instead they demeaned us. Those of us who believe that "wearing" your child helps your her become more secure and independent. That she will cry less.
She does, cry less. Less than what? Less than I expected. She is at 11 months old, uncannily independent. She loves being in the sling. As soon as she sees it she starts bouncing up and down and reaching her arms up.
People ask me if my back hurts. It does sometimes. But that is because I've tied it on wrong. Or I've had her in it for a really long time.
Funny, though, I've never thought of taking Motrin.
Anyway, Motrin scoffed at the whole baby wearing thing. Making it seem like a fashion trend. A "supposedly great bonding experience".
You can imagine that this got a rise out of a lot of women. Motrin got tons of angry emails and I believe they canned the campaign.
Like I said, it was not a bad idea to market to moms. And they could have used sling wearing as one example among many areas of life with munchkin for the possible need of medicinal relief. But they did wrong when they targeted mamas who carry their babies in slings as martyrs who are buying in to the latest baby trend instead of women who want the best for their babies and are following the lead of women all over the world and since the beginning of time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mztymu72l7c
Watch it if you would like.
I think they could have gone about it differently.
The ad is about taking Motrin to deal with the pain of wearing your baby in a sling. I, personally, have never experienced an amount of pain sufficient enough to warrant taking a pain med, and I wear Ms. Foo all the time.
This doesn't mean others don't. So, sure, market the drug to us moms. Why not?
They could have said,
"Oh, la la la, it's so hard being a mom, lugging a stroller up and down stairs in the subway, carrying your baby around the house, wearing her in a baby Bjorn, running after her, changing her diaper while she squirms, getting a headache when she unloads an entire book shelf".
Wearing a baby is not the only part of mother hood that may cause you sore muscles.
Instead they demeaned us. Those of us who believe that "wearing" your child helps your her become more secure and independent. That she will cry less.
She does, cry less. Less than what? Less than I expected. She is at 11 months old, uncannily independent. She loves being in the sling. As soon as she sees it she starts bouncing up and down and reaching her arms up.
People ask me if my back hurts. It does sometimes. But that is because I've tied it on wrong. Or I've had her in it for a really long time.
Funny, though, I've never thought of taking Motrin.
Anyway, Motrin scoffed at the whole baby wearing thing. Making it seem like a fashion trend. A "supposedly great bonding experience".
You can imagine that this got a rise out of a lot of women. Motrin got tons of angry emails and I believe they canned the campaign.
Like I said, it was not a bad idea to market to moms. And they could have used sling wearing as one example among many areas of life with munchkin for the possible need of medicinal relief. But they did wrong when they targeted mamas who carry their babies in slings as martyrs who are buying in to the latest baby trend instead of women who want the best for their babies and are following the lead of women all over the world and since the beginning of time.
November 25, 2008
Love
Recently, a very dear friend of mine expressed (among the many worries in her daily life) that she was afraid she was not holding her 7 month old daughter enough.
That is a very rough, and very familiar feeling.
The mountains of things one has to do, the guilt while doing them that you are not giving your child enough attention, and then the guilt you feel when you do just settle down with your child for a while because you are not "getting anything done".
What do you do? You are never relaxed. Even relaxation is work because you are spending so much energy feeling guilty.
I shared with her that I go ahead and schedule in time to just be with my daughter. I say, "After I'm done with such and such, I'm going to sit on the bed with my daughter for exactly 30 minutes." This is a good time frame because she's usually sick of me by that time and we both feel refreshed.
I also referred her to this passage in one of my favorite books,
Whole Child, Whole Parent by Polly Berrien Berends
"Behold the child not as a burden or a body in need or a responsibility too great or a cherished possession, but as an expression of love. Behold yourself the same way, acknowledging that love is bearing you up and flowing through you unendingly. Then no matter what has to be done, allow yourself to be peaceful. Hold or don't hold the child, whichever seems most harmonious. But be very honest."
She also suggests that a baby may be restless or cranky as a direct result of our restlessness.
"...it tends to be very difficult in the early days of parenthood, when our lives are so suddenly different and we are worried about our ignorance as parents. We are constantly fretting mentally, so the child may continue to be restless."
I guess the idea is that if you are peaceful, no matter what you are doing, your baby will be peaceful as well. But it is very hard to be peaceful! Especially when it feels like you are doing everything wrong. And it seems like the baby is all right but as soon as you start some task, she cries to be picked up. So we get frustrated. Why can't I just do this one thing? Well, I discovered something which I know is nothing new but could be sometimes forgotten in the throes of day time chaos.
I just pick her up and hug her or dance around with her for a few minutes. Just one minute. One. And she's ready to get down and play alone and I can continue with what I was doing for a while, until she needs me again. She just needs to feel me for a while. And who doesn't want a few breaks while doing boring chores?
And this sure beats begging her to calm down or to wait, which she of course won't understand. And saves more time, believe it or not.
Ms. Berends has something to say about this as well.
"It will be suggested to you that the baby is manipulating you and that you are spoiling him. Don't believe it. If you start to believe a power struggle is going on, lose. He doesn't know anything about power struggles If you start a power struggle with him, even if you win, you lose. Especially if you win, you lose. Because in the process he will have learned that power struggle is. So just hang in there and seek a still and loving consciousness, this stillness of mind into which love pours itself. Let the problems fall away...let be."
This may sound like "easier said than done". It is actually much easier to get angry.
But it is a good school of thought to back to when we do feel we are about to go off the deep end. And isn't it worth a try instead of staying stuck in stress and maybe even resentment?
The school of thought that, whatever it is you are doing, even if you are busy, send your baby love, and the rest will fall into place.
Not easy, but straight forward and very, very effective.
That is a very rough, and very familiar feeling.
The mountains of things one has to do, the guilt while doing them that you are not giving your child enough attention, and then the guilt you feel when you do just settle down with your child for a while because you are not "getting anything done".
What do you do? You are never relaxed. Even relaxation is work because you are spending so much energy feeling guilty.
I shared with her that I go ahead and schedule in time to just be with my daughter. I say, "After I'm done with such and such, I'm going to sit on the bed with my daughter for exactly 30 minutes." This is a good time frame because she's usually sick of me by that time and we both feel refreshed.
I also referred her to this passage in one of my favorite books,
Whole Child, Whole Parent by Polly Berrien Berends
"Behold the child not as a burden or a body in need or a responsibility too great or a cherished possession, but as an expression of love. Behold yourself the same way, acknowledging that love is bearing you up and flowing through you unendingly. Then no matter what has to be done, allow yourself to be peaceful. Hold or don't hold the child, whichever seems most harmonious. But be very honest."
She also suggests that a baby may be restless or cranky as a direct result of our restlessness.
"...it tends to be very difficult in the early days of parenthood, when our lives are so suddenly different and we are worried about our ignorance as parents. We are constantly fretting mentally, so the child may continue to be restless."
I guess the idea is that if you are peaceful, no matter what you are doing, your baby will be peaceful as well. But it is very hard to be peaceful! Especially when it feels like you are doing everything wrong. And it seems like the baby is all right but as soon as you start some task, she cries to be picked up. So we get frustrated. Why can't I just do this one thing? Well, I discovered something which I know is nothing new but could be sometimes forgotten in the throes of day time chaos.
I just pick her up and hug her or dance around with her for a few minutes. Just one minute. One. And she's ready to get down and play alone and I can continue with what I was doing for a while, until she needs me again. She just needs to feel me for a while. And who doesn't want a few breaks while doing boring chores?
And this sure beats begging her to calm down or to wait, which she of course won't understand. And saves more time, believe it or not.
Ms. Berends has something to say about this as well.
"It will be suggested to you that the baby is manipulating you and that you are spoiling him. Don't believe it. If you start to believe a power struggle is going on, lose. He doesn't know anything about power struggles If you start a power struggle with him, even if you win, you lose. Especially if you win, you lose. Because in the process he will have learned that power struggle is. So just hang in there and seek a still and loving consciousness, this stillness of mind into which love pours itself. Let the problems fall away...let be."
This may sound like "easier said than done". It is actually much easier to get angry.
But it is a good school of thought to back to when we do feel we are about to go off the deep end. And isn't it worth a try instead of staying stuck in stress and maybe even resentment?
The school of thought that, whatever it is you are doing, even if you are busy, send your baby love, and the rest will fall into place.
Not easy, but straight forward and very, very effective.
November 21, 2008
The first niece
Little Aurora Therese
2:22 a.m this morning
7lbs, 13 oz
Today is a day for celebration!!!
2:22 a.m this morning
7lbs, 13 oz
Today is a day for celebration!!!
November 20, 2008
Age Discrimination
I know you already know this but there is nothing like taking a baby to dinner at a restaurant. First of all, the host says
"3?' and you say
"2 and a high chair" pause.
"Oh" he says flatly. Then he looks around. Looks at you.
"Oh, you have a stroller" then he sighs. "You have fold it up". So, while we are scrambling to take everything out of the stroller, you look up as he is silently arguing with a waiter who does not want you in his section.
As a former restaurant worker, I know that many waiters hate tables with kids. They hate having to run around heating up bottles, asking the kitchen to steam carrots, listen to crying, and most of the time getting a lousy tip.
It has turned into a stigma.
The bus boys aren't too happy either because the floor always gets littered with rice and torn napkins. As it were, Ms. Foo threw chicken, pizza crust, spoons, and cereal puffs on the floor last night. (I picked them up)
I understand. I do. But there is a secret I know. Pass it on.
If you take really good care of a table with kids. If you make the kids happy, get their food out right away, give them something special,
THEIR PARENTS WILL MOST LIKELY GIVE YOU A BIG FAT TIP.
Ok, sometimes they won't, but more often than not, they will.
All they want to do is have a nice dinner and if you get pouty and roll your eyes every time they make a special request and don't try to make things fun, then they will just be insulted, stressed and eventually angry.
Anyway, I'm probably preaching to the choir here. We usually do ok because Ms. Foo is still little and at the cheek pinching stage. But we still don't get treated so well most of the time. Like we are a whole lot of trouble. There is a lot of sighing and toe tapping and pursed lips.
And we don't even ask for anything special!
I will say one thing. Our waiter at the very busy restaurant last night warned us against giving their bar juices to the baby, smiled, was fast, and never made us feel rushed.
So, that was nice.
It's like airplanes. Some people get to their seat, take one look at you and feel like the universe has cursed them.
One man told me, after making a stinky sock face,
"I hate to tell you this, but I've been sick".
"That's ok" I said, "She doesn't get sick" even though she does, I just knew he was hoping I would move. I started telling him the story about how when she was first born and her dad, my mother and I all got the flu and she did not. He put in his earphones and opened a magazine.
On the flight back the guy looked at us and shook his head. I had to stifle a laugh when Ms. Foo took a big fat stinky poo right next to him.
But then there was the lady who talked to me the whole flight about her kids and breast feeding and how cool it is when they get older and how quiet Ms. Foo was and not to worry if I had to change her or feed her and could she help with anything?
I guess you just have to have kids to understand.
"3?' and you say
"2 and a high chair" pause.
"Oh" he says flatly. Then he looks around. Looks at you.
"Oh, you have a stroller" then he sighs. "You have fold it up". So, while we are scrambling to take everything out of the stroller, you look up as he is silently arguing with a waiter who does not want you in his section.
As a former restaurant worker, I know that many waiters hate tables with kids. They hate having to run around heating up bottles, asking the kitchen to steam carrots, listen to crying, and most of the time getting a lousy tip.
It has turned into a stigma.
The bus boys aren't too happy either because the floor always gets littered with rice and torn napkins. As it were, Ms. Foo threw chicken, pizza crust, spoons, and cereal puffs on the floor last night. (I picked them up)
I understand. I do. But there is a secret I know. Pass it on.
If you take really good care of a table with kids. If you make the kids happy, get their food out right away, give them something special,
THEIR PARENTS WILL MOST LIKELY GIVE YOU A BIG FAT TIP.
Ok, sometimes they won't, but more often than not, they will.
All they want to do is have a nice dinner and if you get pouty and roll your eyes every time they make a special request and don't try to make things fun, then they will just be insulted, stressed and eventually angry.
Anyway, I'm probably preaching to the choir here. We usually do ok because Ms. Foo is still little and at the cheek pinching stage. But we still don't get treated so well most of the time. Like we are a whole lot of trouble. There is a lot of sighing and toe tapping and pursed lips.
And we don't even ask for anything special!
I will say one thing. Our waiter at the very busy restaurant last night warned us against giving their bar juices to the baby, smiled, was fast, and never made us feel rushed.
So, that was nice.
It's like airplanes. Some people get to their seat, take one look at you and feel like the universe has cursed them.
One man told me, after making a stinky sock face,
"I hate to tell you this, but I've been sick".
"That's ok" I said, "She doesn't get sick" even though she does, I just knew he was hoping I would move. I started telling him the story about how when she was first born and her dad, my mother and I all got the flu and she did not. He put in his earphones and opened a magazine.
On the flight back the guy looked at us and shook his head. I had to stifle a laugh when Ms. Foo took a big fat stinky poo right next to him.
But then there was the lady who talked to me the whole flight about her kids and breast feeding and how cool it is when they get older and how quiet Ms. Foo was and not to worry if I had to change her or feed her and could she help with anything?
I guess you just have to have kids to understand.
November 19, 2008
What you've got coming to ya
I recently asked a good friend of mine how she was dealing with the dreaded "Terrible Twos". Thank you to her for this HILARIOUS response.
"The terrible twos are terrible, but somehow you just get through them. You will have those times when you walk in a nice boutique makeup store, and your child is climbing on the furniture and then jumping off of it while mommy is nervously trying to pay for her stuff and get out. There will be the occasional moment where your in line, almost done, can't leave, but your little one needs the potty. "Hold on," you say, "Mommy's almost done." Then you learn at the same moment his shorts become darker, a stream of liquid running down his leg, a puddle growing under the basket for all shoppers to gaze upon with disgust, that you will never, ever, EVER EVER EVER EVER again ask him to hold on while you finish paying. Paying can always wait. Or the time a person walks by, rather manly in appearance but clearly a woman (only an adult could recognize) when your child asks, "Who's that, mom?!"
"The cleaning lady," mom replies - To which your puzzled two-year-old states in a matter-of-fact tone, "That's not a lady, SILLY, that's a MAN!" It never ends. Did I mention the time period right after I had my second baby, still traumatized, exhausted and recovering from childbirth when my early riser son woke up, found some bath oil, proceeded to pour the ENTIRE bottle all over our bedroom and TILE floor, which I didn't see when I woke up and, on my way to the bathroom SLIPPED and FELL on my butt! Not to mention all the scrubbing to get out the oil stains. I was not very happy that morning."
Ahhh, I have so much to look forward to!
"The terrible twos are terrible, but somehow you just get through them. You will have those times when you walk in a nice boutique makeup store, and your child is climbing on the furniture and then jumping off of it while mommy is nervously trying to pay for her stuff and get out. There will be the occasional moment where your in line, almost done, can't leave, but your little one needs the potty. "Hold on," you say, "Mommy's almost done." Then you learn at the same moment his shorts become darker, a stream of liquid running down his leg, a puddle growing under the basket for all shoppers to gaze upon with disgust, that you will never, ever, EVER EVER EVER EVER again ask him to hold on while you finish paying. Paying can always wait. Or the time a person walks by, rather manly in appearance but clearly a woman (only an adult could recognize) when your child asks, "Who's that, mom?!"
"The cleaning lady," mom replies - To which your puzzled two-year-old states in a matter-of-fact tone, "That's not a lady, SILLY, that's a MAN!" It never ends. Did I mention the time period right after I had my second baby, still traumatized, exhausted and recovering from childbirth when my early riser son woke up, found some bath oil, proceeded to pour the ENTIRE bottle all over our bedroom and TILE floor, which I didn't see when I woke up and, on my way to the bathroom SLIPPED and FELL on my butt! Not to mention all the scrubbing to get out the oil stains. I was not very happy that morning."
Ahhh, I have so much to look forward to!
November 18, 2008
Anxiety Dreams
In our dreams, we always seem to send our babies way into the future without giving them the time to grow up.
Before my baby was born, I would dream that I would bring her home from the hospital and call everyone in to look at her, amazed that she was talking already. Then the dream would switch and she would be crawling around and I would be saying,
"Isn't it incredible? She' s only three days old and she's already crawling!"
Now, she's starting to stand up unassisted for about ten seconds at a time and flirting with the idea of getting he self off of the bed.
(Our bed is very low, so she can actually scoot herself off backwards if I place her in the right position). So, a few nights ago I dreamt that she was getting off the bed and walking around and that I was thrilled at her ability to walk so early and so suddenly without any assistance from me.
I sent a video of my daughter trying to stand and falling over to my sister, who is studying film making and is currently working on a movie set for school. The next day she reported this dream:
Since Ms. Foo was starting to learn to walk, they wanted to give her a job doing sound on her movie set. But she kept falling over so they had to prop her up with the corner of the wall and the boom mic. (What's a boom mic?)
I have always heard of people having dreams like this about their babies, we are all so anxious to see them grow and learn and do all kinds of amazing stuff. But we are also anxious about them changing from babies to kids.
Babies being so sweet and adoring and kids being ones for testing limits and throwing tantrums and turning into teenagers.
I think we are afraid we won't know how to handle it.
I am, anyway. I guess I can't speak for anyone else.
Maybe that's why we dream like this. A combination of excitement and a hidden desire for babies to stay babies while becoming fully functional beings.
Before my baby was born, I would dream that I would bring her home from the hospital and call everyone in to look at her, amazed that she was talking already. Then the dream would switch and she would be crawling around and I would be saying,
"Isn't it incredible? She' s only three days old and she's already crawling!"
Now, she's starting to stand up unassisted for about ten seconds at a time and flirting with the idea of getting he self off of the bed.
(Our bed is very low, so she can actually scoot herself off backwards if I place her in the right position). So, a few nights ago I dreamt that she was getting off the bed and walking around and that I was thrilled at her ability to walk so early and so suddenly without any assistance from me.
I sent a video of my daughter trying to stand and falling over to my sister, who is studying film making and is currently working on a movie set for school. The next day she reported this dream:
Since Ms. Foo was starting to learn to walk, they wanted to give her a job doing sound on her movie set. But she kept falling over so they had to prop her up with the corner of the wall and the boom mic. (What's a boom mic?)
I have always heard of people having dreams like this about their babies, we are all so anxious to see them grow and learn and do all kinds of amazing stuff. But we are also anxious about them changing from babies to kids.
Babies being so sweet and adoring and kids being ones for testing limits and throwing tantrums and turning into teenagers.
I think we are afraid we won't know how to handle it.
I am, anyway. I guess I can't speak for anyone else.
Maybe that's why we dream like this. A combination of excitement and a hidden desire for babies to stay babies while becoming fully functional beings.
November 13, 2008
Mmmm Milk Shakes
Let's, for the sake of this blog, measure energy in terms of banana milk shakes.
Think about this. If it takes 3 banana milk shakes to clean the bathroom and mop the floor, then it takes 6 banana milk shakes to do it with a baby.
Whether you put her in a sling, leave her napping, or put her in a swing or walker, it is going to take you twice as many banana milk shakes to get the job done.
If she's in a sling, well, you have extra cumbersome weight on your body while your trying to scour the bathtub.
If she's napping your trying to scrub the toilet bowl at lightning speed so you won't have to go attend to her with clorox all over your hands when she wakes up.
And lastly, she will only tolerate a walker or swing for about ten minutes. Then you have to think of something else.
If it takes 1 banana milk shake to put your groceries away, it takes 3 if you are trying to do it while holding munchkin. Your back hurts, it takes forever to get up once you've bent to fill the vegetable bin. And it's really hard to make room in the freezer with just one hand.
Speaking of groceries. Grocery shopping? That takes about ten banana milkshakes. If you take the stroller, where do you put it so you can use a shopping cart? (I'm talking about those of us without a car.) You balance a small basket on top of the stroller and put heavy items under the stroller, hoping no one thinks you are stealing. Plus, I bet she's going to want to get out of the stroller at some point so you are maneuvering and shopping with one hand.
Oh, oh! Ever tried to empty a shopping cart (or grocery filled stroller) with either one hand, a crying baby or just running back and forth from the stroller to the check out lane because the stroller doesn't fit.
It's really fun.
Or, you could take her in the sling so you can use a shopping cart but, with no stroller, how are you going to carry all your groceries home? (Again, if you have a car, this is a moot point. But cars bring on their own work outs).
Anyway, I always break a sweat at the grocery store.
Thinking about and making lunch takes a lot of milk shakes as well. Also usually done with one hand, sometimes you have to settle for peanut butter and jelly when what you really want is grilled Turkey and Swiss with sliced tomato. And it's difficult, what with baby sticking her hand in the peanut butter and all.
Everything done with a baby in tow takes twice as many banana milk shakes as it would alone.
Because a baby is a joy and we signed up for this, my advice to you is this:
Drink a lot of banana milk shakes. They are easy to make with one hand and fill you up and give you tons of energy.
If you like you can add strawberries, or chocolate or peanut butter.
If you are really courageous, why not a raw egg? (Well, why not?) You will have more time to attack other one handed tasks and not be all hungry and grouchy.
Yay!
Think about this. If it takes 3 banana milk shakes to clean the bathroom and mop the floor, then it takes 6 banana milk shakes to do it with a baby.
Whether you put her in a sling, leave her napping, or put her in a swing or walker, it is going to take you twice as many banana milk shakes to get the job done.
If she's in a sling, well, you have extra cumbersome weight on your body while your trying to scour the bathtub.
If she's napping your trying to scrub the toilet bowl at lightning speed so you won't have to go attend to her with clorox all over your hands when she wakes up.
And lastly, she will only tolerate a walker or swing for about ten minutes. Then you have to think of something else.
If it takes 1 banana milk shake to put your groceries away, it takes 3 if you are trying to do it while holding munchkin. Your back hurts, it takes forever to get up once you've bent to fill the vegetable bin. And it's really hard to make room in the freezer with just one hand.
Speaking of groceries. Grocery shopping? That takes about ten banana milkshakes. If you take the stroller, where do you put it so you can use a shopping cart? (I'm talking about those of us without a car.) You balance a small basket on top of the stroller and put heavy items under the stroller, hoping no one thinks you are stealing. Plus, I bet she's going to want to get out of the stroller at some point so you are maneuvering and shopping with one hand.
Oh, oh! Ever tried to empty a shopping cart (or grocery filled stroller) with either one hand, a crying baby or just running back and forth from the stroller to the check out lane because the stroller doesn't fit.
It's really fun.
Or, you could take her in the sling so you can use a shopping cart but, with no stroller, how are you going to carry all your groceries home? (Again, if you have a car, this is a moot point. But cars bring on their own work outs).
Anyway, I always break a sweat at the grocery store.
Thinking about and making lunch takes a lot of milk shakes as well. Also usually done with one hand, sometimes you have to settle for peanut butter and jelly when what you really want is grilled Turkey and Swiss with sliced tomato. And it's difficult, what with baby sticking her hand in the peanut butter and all.
Everything done with a baby in tow takes twice as many banana milk shakes as it would alone.
Because a baby is a joy and we signed up for this, my advice to you is this:
Drink a lot of banana milk shakes. They are easy to make with one hand and fill you up and give you tons of energy.
If you like you can add strawberries, or chocolate or peanut butter.
If you are really courageous, why not a raw egg? (Well, why not?) You will have more time to attack other one handed tasks and not be all hungry and grouchy.
Yay!
Bath Tip
One of the challenges of life with new born baby is
BATH TIME!!!
In the beginning, it's just sponge baths until the umbilical chord falls off. Then, you bathe them in your room where it's warm in their little bath tub.
But there comes a time when you find it would be less time consuming to bathe them with you.
Sometimes you don't have time to set up the whole bath station in your room and then break it down.
So, here is how you do it.
Thanks again to my good friend Thresa who has answered and calmed many of my panicky phone calls.
"How do I bathe my babaaayyyyy!"
Deep breath.
This is only recommended for babies who are not yet mobile.
Put a towel on the floor. Put your baby on the towel.
Take a shower.
Dry off, get out, run a bath and undress your baby.
Sit down in the bathtub holding your baby.
Put a wet wash cloth on your chest.
Lie your baby down on your chest, the wash cloth will prevent slipping.
Bathe her.
Very carefully, stand up and wrap her in a towel. Place her on the towel on the floor again. Get out, put on your robe, pick up your baby, and your done!
Simple, but sweet.
If you don't feel comfortable putting your baby on the floor, try this:
If you have a swing or infant car seat, put a towel on the car seat and then your baby on top of the towel.
It is still possible to strap her in this way.
Then when you take her out of the bath, you can place her directly on her towel and wrap her up in it while you get dressed.
Again, only for none mobile babies!
Bye!
BATH TIME!!!
In the beginning, it's just sponge baths until the umbilical chord falls off. Then, you bathe them in your room where it's warm in their little bath tub.
But there comes a time when you find it would be less time consuming to bathe them with you.
Sometimes you don't have time to set up the whole bath station in your room and then break it down.
So, here is how you do it.
Thanks again to my good friend Thresa who has answered and calmed many of my panicky phone calls.
"How do I bathe my babaaayyyyy!"
Deep breath.
This is only recommended for babies who are not yet mobile.
Put a towel on the floor. Put your baby on the towel.
Take a shower.
Dry off, get out, run a bath and undress your baby.
Sit down in the bathtub holding your baby.
Put a wet wash cloth on your chest.
Lie your baby down on your chest, the wash cloth will prevent slipping.
Bathe her.
Very carefully, stand up and wrap her in a towel. Place her on the towel on the floor again. Get out, put on your robe, pick up your baby, and your done!
Simple, but sweet.
If you don't feel comfortable putting your baby on the floor, try this:
If you have a swing or infant car seat, put a towel on the car seat and then your baby on top of the towel.
It is still possible to strap her in this way.
Then when you take her out of the bath, you can place her directly on her towel and wrap her up in it while you get dressed.
Again, only for none mobile babies!
Bye!
November 12, 2008
Exploding Peas
While making two new foods for the baby, I came across some very silly setbacks.
The first had to do with sweet rice, which Ms. Foo did not like incidentally. I wonder why? Who doesn't like sweet rice!
I tried a store bought version first and ended up eating it myself.
Last Sunday, I decided to try and make some for breakfast. I looked up a recipe on the Internet and found that you can make it with
"Last nights left over rice!" I thought, Great! I have left over rice from last night!
It actually came out perfectly, or so I thought. It smelled good, the consistency seemed right, and then I tasted it.
I wanted to throw up. Why did it tasted like that?
Ohhhhh, I'm so dumb. Last night's white rice had garlic, oil and onions in it. Yummy, yummy.
So I started cooking some rice to try again. La dee da, everything going well, I know how to cook plain rice, easy huh?
Nope. I covered it, lowered the heat and proceeded to burn the darling rice.
Forget it.
Then there was the split pea soup, which she loved. I stewed all the ingredients together and then poured half in the blender. (There was too much to fit in all at once). I held the lid on tight and turned it on.
PLAH!!!! All over the wall, my roommate's bananas, my strong cloth shopping bag, the table cloth, the trash bag box. ME! I screamed because it was hot and burned my arm. My husband and I cleaned it up and I tried again.
PLAH!!!
Oh, dear. I remembered this happened the last time I made this soup. It must be something to do with the heat or the consistency or something. Anyway, I finally got it to work and served it up with bread and grilled chicken and it was great. Ms. Foo lapped it up. And the next day I was still finding soup on the side of the cabinet.
Here are the recipes if you want to try them.
The sweet rice is a link since I still don't know how to make it.
Split Pea Soup
Special thanks to Marian for this recipe
1 lb of dried split peas
3 potatoes
1 zucchini
1 carrot
1 clove of garlic
1/4 sliced onion
salt to taste. I also use chicken bouillon, of course this is optional as well as the garlic and onion depending on if you give your baby these things.
Arroz con Leche
http://mexicanfood.about.com/od/sweetsanddesserts/r/arrozconleche.htm
The first had to do with sweet rice, which Ms. Foo did not like incidentally. I wonder why? Who doesn't like sweet rice!
I tried a store bought version first and ended up eating it myself.
Last Sunday, I decided to try and make some for breakfast. I looked up a recipe on the Internet and found that you can make it with
"Last nights left over rice!" I thought, Great! I have left over rice from last night!
It actually came out perfectly, or so I thought. It smelled good, the consistency seemed right, and then I tasted it.
I wanted to throw up. Why did it tasted like that?
Ohhhhh, I'm so dumb. Last night's white rice had garlic, oil and onions in it. Yummy, yummy.
So I started cooking some rice to try again. La dee da, everything going well, I know how to cook plain rice, easy huh?
Nope. I covered it, lowered the heat and proceeded to burn the darling rice.
Forget it.
Then there was the split pea soup, which she loved. I stewed all the ingredients together and then poured half in the blender. (There was too much to fit in all at once). I held the lid on tight and turned it on.
PLAH!!!! All over the wall, my roommate's bananas, my strong cloth shopping bag, the table cloth, the trash bag box. ME! I screamed because it was hot and burned my arm. My husband and I cleaned it up and I tried again.
PLAH!!!
Oh, dear. I remembered this happened the last time I made this soup. It must be something to do with the heat or the consistency or something. Anyway, I finally got it to work and served it up with bread and grilled chicken and it was great. Ms. Foo lapped it up. And the next day I was still finding soup on the side of the cabinet.
Here are the recipes if you want to try them.
The sweet rice is a link since I still don't know how to make it.
Split Pea Soup
Special thanks to Marian for this recipe
1 lb of dried split peas
3 potatoes
1 zucchini
1 carrot
1 clove of garlic
1/4 sliced onion
salt to taste. I also use chicken bouillon, of course this is optional as well as the garlic and onion depending on if you give your baby these things.
- Bring peas to a boil in a large pot. Cook until peas are almost tender and water is starting to turn green.
- Cut potatoes, zucchini and carrots into small pieces and add to boiling water. Small pieces are suggested so they will cook faster.
- Add onion, garlic and salt.
- Cook until all veggies are very soft.
- Put soup in blender, hold down lid with a brick. (Just kidding).
- Blend. Your done! And it's so delicious.
Arroz con Leche
http://mexicanfood.about.com/od/sweetsanddesserts/r/arrozconleche.htm
November 11, 2008
Flying
Imagine you are on an airplane. Seat belt on.
Now imagine that you are a person who is not scared of anything. That you trust that every situation that you are put in is a safe one.
Next, imagine that you have no cares in the world. That where you go and what you do is of no consequence to you.
Have you got it?
Ok.
Forget, for the sake of imagination, about air pressure and velocity and all that mumbo jumbo. Just imagine that the plane falls away from you. No other seats, no walls, no tray tables, no flight attendants, not even a bathroom. Just you and a mysterious, unseen pilot. You look over the edge of your seat. You put your hands out in front of you. You are flying.
But you are safe. Strapped into your seat, completely trusting, completely carefree.
Exhilarating, isn't it?
That's how I feel my daughter feels when we are going down the street with her stroller. She doesn't have any kind barrier in front of her like in her big stroller, she's just buckled in.
She does the same thing I described above. She sticks her hands out in front of her and looks at the ground zipping by beneath her. She waves her arms up and down and squeals. No fear, no questions.
It looks like so much fun, I wish I could do it myself.
Now imagine that you are a person who is not scared of anything. That you trust that every situation that you are put in is a safe one.
Next, imagine that you have no cares in the world. That where you go and what you do is of no consequence to you.
Have you got it?
Ok.
Forget, for the sake of imagination, about air pressure and velocity and all that mumbo jumbo. Just imagine that the plane falls away from you. No other seats, no walls, no tray tables, no flight attendants, not even a bathroom. Just you and a mysterious, unseen pilot. You look over the edge of your seat. You put your hands out in front of you. You are flying.
But you are safe. Strapped into your seat, completely trusting, completely carefree.
Exhilarating, isn't it?
That's how I feel my daughter feels when we are going down the street with her stroller. She doesn't have any kind barrier in front of her like in her big stroller, she's just buckled in.
She does the same thing I described above. She sticks her hands out in front of her and looks at the ground zipping by beneath her. She waves her arms up and down and squeals. No fear, no questions.
It looks like so much fun, I wish I could do it myself.
November 7, 2008
Horror Stories
There is always something unexpected and it almost always has to do with poo (not pooh) so it's better to always be prepared.
Never assume you know the rhythm of your baby's intestines.
Never go anywhere without a diaper.
I promise you, even if you never have a poo situation out of the house, the day you decide to go for a quick trip without a diaper,
YOU WILL REGRET IT.
Take, for example, the case of the Two Size Tighty. Ms. Foo and I were off to the park for an hour or so of playing.
When I got there, I saw two friends and went and sat with them.
Now, I should have known better. Because it had been a few days since her last...you know, but I said
"Oh, I'm just going to the park! I'm not taking anything!" and frolicked out of the house like a fool.
And then, it happened.
"Oh no!" I said to my friend with a baby the same age as Ms. Foo, "Can I borrow a diaper?" She looked at me with a strange look on her face.
"Uhhh," she said, "since I was just coming to the park for a half hour and Yvanna already, you know, so, I didn't bring anything!"
My other friend and I looked at each other. Her baby was only one month old. It was our only choice.
I changed Ms. Foo in her stroller and strapped on the tiny diaper. It was quite a sight. But it worked.
Then there is the story of The Roller
It is about a woman (who happens to be my aunt) who, before she had kids, told my mother that she absolutely WOULD NOT baby sit for her if it included taking care of a baby still in diapers.
At the time, my mother had my sister and I (5 and 3) and my brother, who was still in diapers.
There was some kind of emergency and my aunt was the only person available to baby sit.
"Don't worry!" said my mother, "he has already pooed today! He won't again! It's only for an hour, you won't have to change any dirty diapers! Please!"
Well, she agreed. And my brother decided to have diarrhea that day. Majorly.
And, to make matters worse, while my aunt had him on a bed, with his diaper open, my brother decided to roll and roll and roll and roll.
All over the bed.
My mother found my aunt in tears.
"Never again!" she cried, "Never again!"
So. The moral of these stories are,
Never assume and always be prepared.
Never assume you know the rhythm of your baby's intestines.
Never go anywhere without a diaper.
I promise you, even if you never have a poo situation out of the house, the day you decide to go for a quick trip without a diaper,
YOU WILL REGRET IT.
Take, for example, the case of the Two Size Tighty. Ms. Foo and I were off to the park for an hour or so of playing.
When I got there, I saw two friends and went and sat with them.
Now, I should have known better. Because it had been a few days since her last...you know, but I said
"Oh, I'm just going to the park! I'm not taking anything!" and frolicked out of the house like a fool.
And then, it happened.
"Oh no!" I said to my friend with a baby the same age as Ms. Foo, "Can I borrow a diaper?" She looked at me with a strange look on her face.
"Uhhh," she said, "since I was just coming to the park for a half hour and Yvanna already, you know, so, I didn't bring anything!"
My other friend and I looked at each other. Her baby was only one month old. It was our only choice.
I changed Ms. Foo in her stroller and strapped on the tiny diaper. It was quite a sight. But it worked.
Then there is the story of The Roller
It is about a woman (who happens to be my aunt) who, before she had kids, told my mother that she absolutely WOULD NOT baby sit for her if it included taking care of a baby still in diapers.
At the time, my mother had my sister and I (5 and 3) and my brother, who was still in diapers.
There was some kind of emergency and my aunt was the only person available to baby sit.
"Don't worry!" said my mother, "he has already pooed today! He won't again! It's only for an hour, you won't have to change any dirty diapers! Please!"
Well, she agreed. And my brother decided to have diarrhea that day. Majorly.
And, to make matters worse, while my aunt had him on a bed, with his diaper open, my brother decided to roll and roll and roll and roll.
All over the bed.
My mother found my aunt in tears.
"Never again!" she cried, "Never again!"
So. The moral of these stories are,
Never assume and always be prepared.
November 6, 2008
Acrobats
So, lately I have been dealing with twiddling.
What is twiddling? A baby grabbing your nose, chin, cheek, pinching you, while nursing. She also likes to nurse in different positions like upside down or standing up. I'm not joking! Sometimes she actually stands up while she is nursing!
While most of the time this is ok, sometimes funny, there are times when she scratches and bites. Pinching doesn't feel too good either.
Apparently, according to "kelly" at http://www.kellymom.com/bf/older-baby/nursing-manners.html
this behavior is completely normal. That your baby is exploring all the things she can do while nursing. She calls it "twiddling" and "acrobatic nursing".
She also says that, although the behavior is normal, it doesn't mean you can not teach your child otherwise or distract her with something else.
One idea that I really liked was putting a "nursing necklace" or bright scarf around your neck while nursing. A tough string or necklace for your baby to grab instead of your nose. Grabbing the nose itself isn't so bad, but it always leads to a very sharp scratch down the upper lip or chin.
She also suggests giving your baby a toy or blanket to hold, or to hold your baby's hand.
I, myself, have tried holding her hand and it works for a while but she seems to get very hyper sometimes while she is nursing and holding her hand seems to restrict her somehow, like she has too much energy. She starts waving my hand around like crazy.
"Kelly" also has a lot of great tips for parents of nursing toddlers, ways to explain why acrobatic nursing in public is not a good idea and that "it's hard to nurse when you are wiggly, why don't we go play and get the wiggles out and then we can nurse again?"
One thing I have not found an answer for is outside distractions. When my daughter was brand new, all she wanted to do was nurse. But as she got older, she started to find other things more interesting. Any little noise and she will stop nursing and sit up, whether it's a loud boom on the TV, the phone ringing, or the little boy next door calling for his mother.
Any ideas?
What is twiddling? A baby grabbing your nose, chin, cheek, pinching you, while nursing. She also likes to nurse in different positions like upside down or standing up. I'm not joking! Sometimes she actually stands up while she is nursing!
While most of the time this is ok, sometimes funny, there are times when she scratches and bites. Pinching doesn't feel too good either.
Apparently, according to "kelly" at http://www.kellymom.com/bf/older-baby/nursing-manners.html
this behavior is completely normal. That your baby is exploring all the things she can do while nursing. She calls it "twiddling" and "acrobatic nursing".
She also says that, although the behavior is normal, it doesn't mean you can not teach your child otherwise or distract her with something else.
One idea that I really liked was putting a "nursing necklace" or bright scarf around your neck while nursing. A tough string or necklace for your baby to grab instead of your nose. Grabbing the nose itself isn't so bad, but it always leads to a very sharp scratch down the upper lip or chin.
She also suggests giving your baby a toy or blanket to hold, or to hold your baby's hand.
I, myself, have tried holding her hand and it works for a while but she seems to get very hyper sometimes while she is nursing and holding her hand seems to restrict her somehow, like she has too much energy. She starts waving my hand around like crazy.
"Kelly" also has a lot of great tips for parents of nursing toddlers, ways to explain why acrobatic nursing in public is not a good idea and that "it's hard to nurse when you are wiggly, why don't we go play and get the wiggles out and then we can nurse again?"
One thing I have not found an answer for is outside distractions. When my daughter was brand new, all she wanted to do was nurse. But as she got older, she started to find other things more interesting. Any little noise and she will stop nursing and sit up, whether it's a loud boom on the TV, the phone ringing, or the little boy next door calling for his mother.
Any ideas?
November 5, 2008
It's allright
It's funny how a baby depends on you to gauge their emotional responses to some things. There are, of course, a few things that they are sure about like loud noises and hunger, you leaving, them falling. But sometimes, something will happen, and the baby will look right at you to see if you are upset or smiling.
Like when Elmo, (now my daughter's good friend) was going into one of his convulsions and threatened to fall off the bed, I screamed a little, all in good fun and my daughter looked at me with a twisted, worried expression but as soon as I smiled at her, she was ok.
Other times, when her dad and I are horsing around and I yell at him to stop pulling at my toe or something, she looks over at me to see if I am really in distress. If I smile, she smiles too. But for a birthday I had recently, someone shoved my face into my cake. I laughed but not right away. I screamed.
Ms. Foo got scared and would not stop whimpering until I looked at her and smiled, nodding my head, saying, "It's ok, it's ok".
Once, I was baby sitting for a little boy under a year old and we got on an elevator. A strange guy started talking to him. Before this, every person who wanted to talk to him was usually a friend or family member and I always smiled at him encouragingly and nodded my head. This time, he looked right at me and I, without thinking, just shrugged. The baby immediately started crying. I'm sure that if I had smiled like I always had before, he would not have gotten scared.
This works too when I'm telling her not to do something like shoving my sandal in her mouth. I see her pick it up and it goes straight to her mouth.
"NO!" I say, very sternly and when she looks at me I knit my eyebrows and turn my mouth down.
Then she gives me the sweetest, cutest, funniest smile she has. I keep my face scrunched up. Probably more so than before just to keep from laughing.
Then her smile wears off. She puts the shoe to one side.
I break into a smile and nod my head. She smiles and picks up the shoe.
Back to the frown.
She puts it down, I smile.
And guess what, she doesn't put the shoe in her mouth any more! Well, not nearly as much as she used to.
Maybe she doesn't understand words to well yet, but she definitely knows the difference between an ok situation and a not so ok one, and all from the expression on my face!
Like when Elmo, (now my daughter's good friend) was going into one of his convulsions and threatened to fall off the bed, I screamed a little, all in good fun and my daughter looked at me with a twisted, worried expression but as soon as I smiled at her, she was ok.
Other times, when her dad and I are horsing around and I yell at him to stop pulling at my toe or something, she looks over at me to see if I am really in distress. If I smile, she smiles too. But for a birthday I had recently, someone shoved my face into my cake. I laughed but not right away. I screamed.
Ms. Foo got scared and would not stop whimpering until I looked at her and smiled, nodding my head, saying, "It's ok, it's ok".
Once, I was baby sitting for a little boy under a year old and we got on an elevator. A strange guy started talking to him. Before this, every person who wanted to talk to him was usually a friend or family member and I always smiled at him encouragingly and nodded my head. This time, he looked right at me and I, without thinking, just shrugged. The baby immediately started crying. I'm sure that if I had smiled like I always had before, he would not have gotten scared.
This works too when I'm telling her not to do something like shoving my sandal in her mouth. I see her pick it up and it goes straight to her mouth.
"NO!" I say, very sternly and when she looks at me I knit my eyebrows and turn my mouth down.
Then she gives me the sweetest, cutest, funniest smile she has. I keep my face scrunched up. Probably more so than before just to keep from laughing.
Then her smile wears off. She puts the shoe to one side.
I break into a smile and nod my head. She smiles and picks up the shoe.
Back to the frown.
She puts it down, I smile.
And guess what, she doesn't put the shoe in her mouth any more! Well, not nearly as much as she used to.
Maybe she doesn't understand words to well yet, but she definitely knows the difference between an ok situation and a not so ok one, and all from the expression on my face!
November 4, 2008
Light Bulbs
It seemed like it all happened in one day! For months and months, I have been putting the phone to her ear so she could here her grandmother's voice, or her auntie's, or her dad while he's at work and she would always just stare at it, completely mystified.
Then one day, she picked up the phone and put it to my ear.
"Hello?" I said. Then she put the phone to her hear and made some "hello" like inflections with her voice.
So I called my mother. Ms. Foo had a two minute babble conversation with her. Now, all she wants to do is put the phone to my hear then to hers, then to mine, then to hers.
That same day, she started patting my hand herself at the end of patty cake instead of me taking her little hand and patting mine with it.
She used to cry a little and crawl over to the closed door when her little friend would go home. Now she cries a little and looks underneath the door!
And then, after months of being in the sling while I do dishes and hanging around while I run the swiffer over my dustable surfaces, Ms. Foo grabbed a sock (twice in one day, so I knew it was not a fluke) and started rubbing it on a book that was on a bed and later on a plastic bowl that was on the floor.
How is it that one day, she just stares and smiles and the next, everything seems to suddenly make sense to her?
Like somebody turned a switch on.
She understands what things are for, where people go when she cannot see them anymore. What comes at the end of the song.
Now she claps when there is applause on the television, even if she doesn't see the people actually clapping.
She laughs at nothing.
She laughs at everything. She breathes in dramatically as if she just cannot contain it all. All this wonder.
Then one day, she picked up the phone and put it to my ear.
"Hello?" I said. Then she put the phone to her hear and made some "hello" like inflections with her voice.
So I called my mother. Ms. Foo had a two minute babble conversation with her. Now, all she wants to do is put the phone to my hear then to hers, then to mine, then to hers.
That same day, she started patting my hand herself at the end of patty cake instead of me taking her little hand and patting mine with it.
She used to cry a little and crawl over to the closed door when her little friend would go home. Now she cries a little and looks underneath the door!
And then, after months of being in the sling while I do dishes and hanging around while I run the swiffer over my dustable surfaces, Ms. Foo grabbed a sock (twice in one day, so I knew it was not a fluke) and started rubbing it on a book that was on a bed and later on a plastic bowl that was on the floor.
How is it that one day, she just stares and smiles and the next, everything seems to suddenly make sense to her?
Like somebody turned a switch on.
She understands what things are for, where people go when she cannot see them anymore. What comes at the end of the song.
Now she claps when there is applause on the television, even if she doesn't see the people actually clapping.
She laughs at nothing.
She laughs at everything. She breathes in dramatically as if she just cannot contain it all. All this wonder.
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