What you've got coming to ya

I recently asked a good friend of mine how she was dealing with the dreaded "Terrible Twos". Thank you to her for this HILARIOUS response.

"The terrible twos are terrible, but somehow you just get through them. You will have those times when you walk in a nice boutique makeup store, and your child is climbing on the furniture and then jumping off of it while mommy is nervously trying to pay for her stuff and get out. There will be the occasional moment where your in line, almost done, can't leave, but your little one needs the potty. "Hold on," you say, "Mommy's almost done." Then you learn at the same moment his shorts become darker, a stream of liquid running down his leg, a puddle growing under the basket for all shoppers to gaze upon with disgust, that you will never, ever, EVER EVER EVER EVER again ask him to hold on while you finish paying. Paying can always wait. Or the time a person walks by, rather manly in appearance but clearly a woman (only an adult could recognize) when your child asks, "Who's that, mom?!"
"The cleaning lady," mom replies - To which your puzzled two-year-old states in a matter-of-fact tone, "That's not a lady, SILLY, that's a MAN!" It never ends. Did I mention the time period right after I had my second baby, still traumatized, exhausted and recovering from childbirth when my early riser son woke up, found some bath oil, proceeded to pour the ENTIRE bottle all over our bedroom and TILE floor, which I didn't see when I woke up and, on my way to the bathroom SLIPPED and FELL on my butt! Not to mention all the scrubbing to get out the oil stains. I was not very happy that morning."

Ahhh, I have so much to look forward to!