This is my first Halloween with a baby. I spent more time than I should have perusing around town and around the internet for a costume for her. I thought of a lady bug, a chili pepper, a penguin, and a kitty.
Then I went to an early Halloween party. Most of the kids did not arrive in costume but changed into them upon arrival. I did not have Ms. Foo's costume yet but what I saw at the party made me nix it all together.
The older kids, 7 and up, were ok, thrilled, actually to be in costume. And the baby who was 8 weeks old seemed perfectly content in her little Pumpkin Sack costume. But then there were the toddlers. 6 months, 8 months, 18 months, 2 years old. They screamed and cried, pulled at the duck head piece before mom could get it on, or mooed in their cow costume for two minutes then wanted it off, tearing at the neck, whining, jumping up and down.
They were hot, uncomfortable and unhappy.
I was glad I had decided just to paint Ms. Foo's face.
Easy, right?
Ha! Surely you jest!
I had planned on a full out tiger striped, whiskered, red-nosed, freckled little kitty face.
I was only able to accomplish two overly thick, squiggly black whiskers on each cheek and a smeared red nose that creeped off to the sides and three red dots on each cheek.
Every time I put the make-up brush close to her face, she thought I was giving her something to eat and kept following it with her mouth.
When I put it to her cheek, she turned the other way. But I finally got something on.
She looked so cute! She even laughed at herself in the mirror!
Then I put on her coat and strapped her into her stroller.
Off to the subway. When we finally got settled in, I lifted to cold-protection plastic cover and looked at her.
The sides of her winter coat and hat were full of black and red paint and her face just looked, well, dirty. Like she had been playing in the mud.
I laughed.
I love Halloween!
October 31, 2008
October 30, 2008
Ground Patrole
You know, babies are supposedly too small to make much sense out of anything. They don't understand the concept of "No", the concept of sharing, the idea that you leaving the room doesn't mean you are gone forever.
So why is it that they understand perfectly that they should wait until you are not looking to touch or eat something they know you would not approve of?
How do they know which things you will be ok with and which things you will take away?
My daughter was sitting in my aunt's lap and she gave her a leaf to play with. She thoughtfully turned it over and over in her hand, pulling at the stem and flesh. My aunt yawned and turned to look at something. When she turned back, my daughter had the leaf in her mouth.
She plays quietly with her toys while I am sitting with her but as soon as I decide to dust the chest of drawers, she's suddenly into the stacks of toilet paper in the closet.
And this is scary! It's not that I mind pulling her away from the closet or trash can, it's that, even though she knows which things I probably won't let her have, she doesn't know which ones are really dangerous, like outlets and clorox.
We all know that babies put all kinds of strange things in their mouths and that they get into EVERYTHING, but we don't (at least I don't) always realize what that really consists of.
We know without having to think about it that chicken poop and ashes are yucky and we wouldn't dream of eating them but babies will!
My husband, visiting his grandparent's ranch while still crawling, was found under the chicken coop eating...you guessed it.
And a couple I know left an ashtray in a low place and before they knew it their baby daughter was sitting in front of it stuffing cigarette butts in her mouth.
(Shall we even get in to smoking in the house with a baby to begin with? That's another blog for another day).
So, it's always the stuff that for us is common knowledge.
We know to keep safety pins and knives out of reach but sometimes forget about our sandals in the front hallway or the dustpan in the laundry room.
And it's always when I'm not looking.
Being a parent is like being a watch man without a changing of the guard.
So why is it that they understand perfectly that they should wait until you are not looking to touch or eat something they know you would not approve of?
How do they know which things you will be ok with and which things you will take away?
My daughter was sitting in my aunt's lap and she gave her a leaf to play with. She thoughtfully turned it over and over in her hand, pulling at the stem and flesh. My aunt yawned and turned to look at something. When she turned back, my daughter had the leaf in her mouth.
She plays quietly with her toys while I am sitting with her but as soon as I decide to dust the chest of drawers, she's suddenly into the stacks of toilet paper in the closet.
And this is scary! It's not that I mind pulling her away from the closet or trash can, it's that, even though she knows which things I probably won't let her have, she doesn't know which ones are really dangerous, like outlets and clorox.
We all know that babies put all kinds of strange things in their mouths and that they get into EVERYTHING, but we don't (at least I don't) always realize what that really consists of.
We know without having to think about it that chicken poop and ashes are yucky and we wouldn't dream of eating them but babies will!
My husband, visiting his grandparent's ranch while still crawling, was found under the chicken coop eating...you guessed it.
And a couple I know left an ashtray in a low place and before they knew it their baby daughter was sitting in front of it stuffing cigarette butts in her mouth.
(Shall we even get in to smoking in the house with a baby to begin with? That's another blog for another day).
So, it's always the stuff that for us is common knowledge.
We know to keep safety pins and knives out of reach but sometimes forget about our sandals in the front hallway or the dustpan in the laundry room.
And it's always when I'm not looking.
Being a parent is like being a watch man without a changing of the guard.
October 29, 2008
Rain
When I was a child, a teenager, even a few years ago, I loved being caught in the rain. Sometimes I would even go outside for the soul purpose of standing in it.
It made me feel close to something. A Greater Being, the Universe, the rain itself. It exhilarated me, made me feel free and solid.
The other day, it was raining. It has been raining for the past three days.
"You know," I said to my husband, "I used to love to run around in the rain".
"Why don't you anymore?" he asked.
Hm. Why don't I anymore?
The answer is simple:
It's not freeing anymore. It's worrisome. Before, I only had to worry about myself. Myself getting soaking wet, feeling cold wind, possibly getting sick. But, guess what? Now I have a baby and having her experiencing those same things does not sound like any kind of fun for anybody. And most of the time, it's just me and her. I can't leave her in the house while I dance in the rain like a loony. And even if I could, say if I left her with my husband, do I really have time to deal with sopping wet clothes and hair when there is her bath to think about, the dishes, nursing? I barely have time to fit in everything I have to do as it is!
I have no time for rain dancing!
Sigh
A friend of mine sent me a message once, saying that she had realized that she had become a full on mom and had forgotten her self. Her self who was a person, not just a mom and wife.
It has happened to me now.
Not that I mind. I love it. If I had to choose, if someone said,
"You can never dance in the rain again if you choose to live for the rest of your life with someone you love and who loves you back and you get to raise cool kids together," I would say,
"OK, no problem".
But, when my husband asked me that question, I felt like a mule. Like before I had been a dolphin swimming and now I was molasses.
You know what though?
Think of it this way. I am 26 years old. Even if I have more kids, some day, they will all be able to take care of themselves. And we will be alone. And we will miss our children.
I will be able to take a solitary walk in the rain again, but I will never be able to hold my daughter at ten months old again.
Squeeze her to my chest. Feel her wispy hair on my cheek. She will grow and it will be forever.
Even though, sometimes I feel buried.
But I am doing it to my self. The same stuff I am burying myself in is really there to be reveled in.
And so I will. Revel.
The rain will be waiting.
It made me feel close to something. A Greater Being, the Universe, the rain itself. It exhilarated me, made me feel free and solid.
The other day, it was raining. It has been raining for the past three days.
"You know," I said to my husband, "I used to love to run around in the rain".
"Why don't you anymore?" he asked.
Hm. Why don't I anymore?
The answer is simple:
It's not freeing anymore. It's worrisome. Before, I only had to worry about myself. Myself getting soaking wet, feeling cold wind, possibly getting sick. But, guess what? Now I have a baby and having her experiencing those same things does not sound like any kind of fun for anybody. And most of the time, it's just me and her. I can't leave her in the house while I dance in the rain like a loony. And even if I could, say if I left her with my husband, do I really have time to deal with sopping wet clothes and hair when there is her bath to think about, the dishes, nursing? I barely have time to fit in everything I have to do as it is!
I have no time for rain dancing!
Sigh
A friend of mine sent me a message once, saying that she had realized that she had become a full on mom and had forgotten her self. Her self who was a person, not just a mom and wife.
It has happened to me now.
Not that I mind. I love it. If I had to choose, if someone said,
"You can never dance in the rain again if you choose to live for the rest of your life with someone you love and who loves you back and you get to raise cool kids together," I would say,
"OK, no problem".
But, when my husband asked me that question, I felt like a mule. Like before I had been a dolphin swimming and now I was molasses.
You know what though?
Think of it this way. I am 26 years old. Even if I have more kids, some day, they will all be able to take care of themselves. And we will be alone. And we will miss our children.
I will be able to take a solitary walk in the rain again, but I will never be able to hold my daughter at ten months old again.
Squeeze her to my chest. Feel her wispy hair on my cheek. She will grow and it will be forever.
Even though, sometimes I feel buried.
But I am doing it to my self. The same stuff I am burying myself in is really there to be reveled in.
And so I will. Revel.
The rain will be waiting.
October 28, 2008
Moon Child
Yesterday, while reading a book called "Whole Child, Whole Parent" I came across a beautiful passage which I would like to share with you.
"As far as I know, all children are moon-struck. Even in the city where the lights blink and blaze insistingly, where the sky is often only a straight-up chimney patch, even in the daytime, if the moon is out-just a pale, pale sliver moon- the child will find it at once.
'Oh look, there's the moon!' Is the friendship between this round, clear wonder whose hand holds mine and the one in the sky (both with their whispers of faces) founded on a deep, inborn awareness of true calling? Does he already know, can he still remember, that the beauty and happiness of his whole life are to reflect a greater light? Does he already suspect that the darkness lies only in the shadow of turning away from the light in whom there is no shadow of turning? Does he already guess that in standing under (understanding) the light there is no shadow to be cast? See how he already casts about in the darkness for the light! This moonchild of mine keeps on reminding me that I must be moon for him as he is one to me."
When I was a child, I would watch the moon out the car window and marvel ed that it could move so fast as to keep up with us. I asked my mother about this. She said,
"The moon is not following us. It is just so big, that we can never pass it."
Zora Neal Hurston wrote a short story about her relationship with the moon.
One night, as a small child, she was out in a field. As she ran, she saw that the moon followed her wherever she went. She thought, the moon must love her. Must be her special friend. And she went out every night to play with the moon.
Until one night when she bumped into another child running alone in the field.
"What are you doing?" the author asked.
"I'm playing with the moon" was the answer.
"No you are not! I'm playing with the moon!" and so on and so on. Eventually they came upon other children who also believed they were the moon's special playmate. They soon found that the moon followed all of them. And they ran around the field, shrieking with joy. Chasing the moon, chasing each other.
Once, while I was still waiting for my baby, I called my mother on the phone. She lives across the country. It was nighttime and I was outside. I commented on the brightness and beauty of the full moon that was in the sky that night. She went outside and looked at the moon.
"Oh my goodness!" said my sentimental mother, "We are looking at the same moon!" and she had tears in her voice.
Of course I teased her about this, but it touched me too.
I see the moon and the moon sees me-
over the mountain, over the sea.
Please let the light that shines on me,
shine on the one I love.
"As far as I know, all children are moon-struck. Even in the city where the lights blink and blaze insistingly, where the sky is often only a straight-up chimney patch, even in the daytime, if the moon is out-just a pale, pale sliver moon- the child will find it at once.
'Oh look, there's the moon!' Is the friendship between this round, clear wonder whose hand holds mine and the one in the sky (both with their whispers of faces) founded on a deep, inborn awareness of true calling? Does he already know, can he still remember, that the beauty and happiness of his whole life are to reflect a greater light? Does he already suspect that the darkness lies only in the shadow of turning away from the light in whom there is no shadow of turning? Does he already guess that in standing under (understanding) the light there is no shadow to be cast? See how he already casts about in the darkness for the light! This moonchild of mine keeps on reminding me that I must be moon for him as he is one to me."
When I was a child, I would watch the moon out the car window and marvel ed that it could move so fast as to keep up with us. I asked my mother about this. She said,
"The moon is not following us. It is just so big, that we can never pass it."
Zora Neal Hurston wrote a short story about her relationship with the moon.
One night, as a small child, she was out in a field. As she ran, she saw that the moon followed her wherever she went. She thought, the moon must love her. Must be her special friend. And she went out every night to play with the moon.
Until one night when she bumped into another child running alone in the field.
"What are you doing?" the author asked.
"I'm playing with the moon" was the answer.
"No you are not! I'm playing with the moon!" and so on and so on. Eventually they came upon other children who also believed they were the moon's special playmate. They soon found that the moon followed all of them. And they ran around the field, shrieking with joy. Chasing the moon, chasing each other.
Once, while I was still waiting for my baby, I called my mother on the phone. She lives across the country. It was nighttime and I was outside. I commented on the brightness and beauty of the full moon that was in the sky that night. She went outside and looked at the moon.
"Oh my goodness!" said my sentimental mother, "We are looking at the same moon!" and she had tears in her voice.
Of course I teased her about this, but it touched me too.
I see the moon and the moon sees me-
over the mountain, over the sea.
Please let the light that shines on me,
shine on the one I love.
October 24, 2008
Blob Blog
She's gotten in the habit of PINCHING me while she is nursing and falling asleep. It was cute when she used to hold on to my nose, but now she grabs onto a hand full of skin and tries to rip it off.
It's not funny.
She loves the computer. She loves the cell phone. When I'm on the computer, I give her the cell phone. She actually TOSSES it aside and comes back to the computer.
At dinner, she takes three bites and then pushes the spoon away. It's not that she's not hungry, she just wants snacks instead.
No snacks. No food? No snacks. Wait a little while, she'll eat the food.
I think this is a definitive point. It's either spoiled or not from here on out.
Wish me luck!
It's not funny.
She loves the computer. She loves the cell phone. When I'm on the computer, I give her the cell phone. She actually TOSSES it aside and comes back to the computer.
At dinner, she takes three bites and then pushes the spoon away. It's not that she's not hungry, she just wants snacks instead.
No snacks. No food? No snacks. Wait a little while, she'll eat the food.
I think this is a definitive point. It's either spoiled or not from here on out.
Wish me luck!
October 23, 2008
Chicken Pox
Someone asked me why I let them put so many vaccines in my baby. That when we were kids, it was just a few and now, every time they go in, there are four shots, two in each leg.
I don't remember what it was like when I was a kid. But a lot of people now are against immunizations.
One of the big ones is the vaccine for chicken pox. A friend of mine told me that there were two reported deaths from the chicken pox vaccine last year and none from the actual virus.
When I mentioned the vaccine to a family member and voiced my opinion that it seemed unnecessary because the chicken pox are not life-threatening in children, he said,
"yeah, but it's inconvenient".
Inconvenient.
Two days ago, I went to the pediatrician for a check up for Ms. Foo. He mentioned that on her next visit she would be getting immunized for measles, mumps and rubella and also for the chicken pox. I decided to ask him why a vaccine for chicken pox had come about.
This is what he said:
When kids get chicken pox, they miss school and parents miss work. We are trying to eliminate the amount of missed days.
Also, when children get chicken pox, they are immune to it for the rest of their lives. But if they do not get it, when they are adults, the chicken pox could be contracted in the form of shingles and this is much more dangerous.
Now, it is less likely for your daughter to contract chicken pox as a child, since everyone is being immunized against it. If you do not immunize her, she might get it as an adult.
So, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place here. I have never really gone to either side when it comes to immunizations. I just did it because that is what you do. I got immunized and have never suffered for it but never liked the idea of the large amount of vaccines with their chemicals and toxins that are now being injected into our children. But then I get scared to not give them because of the what if's.
However I felt I had to draw the line at chicken pox. But now, I can't, because she won't get it as a child. She'll have no one to get it from. And I'll put her at risk as an adult.
We've created more of a problem here. Missed days? Was that really the reason?
What's next, a vaccine against the common cold? Headaches? I know! A vaccine for sneezing!
And you know what? YOU CAN STILL GET SHINGLES EVEN IF YOU ARE IMMUNE TO CHICKEN POX! I know this for a fact as another family member of mine who actually gave ME the chicken pox as a child recently suffered from a (thankfully) mild bout of the shingles.
So what's the point? I understand polio, I understand the meningitis and the rubella, but chicken pox?
And now I can't even make a real choice about it?
Sigh
I don't even know why I'm talking about it.
P.S. Guess what I just read. There are studies showing that the vaccine wears off so every 5 years or so the kids have to get a booster shot, whereas before the vaccine was believed to offer lifetime protection. I feel like we are just trying to patch a leak with scotch tape here! Here is the link I got this from.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/179426/chicken_pox_vaccine_wares_off.html?cat=5
I don't remember what it was like when I was a kid. But a lot of people now are against immunizations.
One of the big ones is the vaccine for chicken pox. A friend of mine told me that there were two reported deaths from the chicken pox vaccine last year and none from the actual virus.
When I mentioned the vaccine to a family member and voiced my opinion that it seemed unnecessary because the chicken pox are not life-threatening in children, he said,
"yeah, but it's inconvenient".
Inconvenient.
Two days ago, I went to the pediatrician for a check up for Ms. Foo. He mentioned that on her next visit she would be getting immunized for measles, mumps and rubella and also for the chicken pox. I decided to ask him why a vaccine for chicken pox had come about.
This is what he said:
When kids get chicken pox, they miss school and parents miss work. We are trying to eliminate the amount of missed days.
Also, when children get chicken pox, they are immune to it for the rest of their lives. But if they do not get it, when they are adults, the chicken pox could be contracted in the form of shingles and this is much more dangerous.
Now, it is less likely for your daughter to contract chicken pox as a child, since everyone is being immunized against it. If you do not immunize her, she might get it as an adult.
So, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place here. I have never really gone to either side when it comes to immunizations. I just did it because that is what you do. I got immunized and have never suffered for it but never liked the idea of the large amount of vaccines with their chemicals and toxins that are now being injected into our children. But then I get scared to not give them because of the what if's.
However I felt I had to draw the line at chicken pox. But now, I can't, because she won't get it as a child. She'll have no one to get it from. And I'll put her at risk as an adult.
We've created more of a problem here. Missed days? Was that really the reason?
What's next, a vaccine against the common cold? Headaches? I know! A vaccine for sneezing!
And you know what? YOU CAN STILL GET SHINGLES EVEN IF YOU ARE IMMUNE TO CHICKEN POX! I know this for a fact as another family member of mine who actually gave ME the chicken pox as a child recently suffered from a (thankfully) mild bout of the shingles.
So what's the point? I understand polio, I understand the meningitis and the rubella, but chicken pox?
And now I can't even make a real choice about it?
Sigh
I don't even know why I'm talking about it.
P.S. Guess what I just read. There are studies showing that the vaccine wears off so every 5 years or so the kids have to get a booster shot, whereas before the vaccine was believed to offer lifetime protection. I feel like we are just trying to patch a leak with scotch tape here! Here is the link I got this from.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/179426/chicken_pox_vaccine_wares_off.html?cat=5
October 22, 2008
Peter Pan
It's late. The lights are off, the lamp is lit. She crawls from one end of the bed to the other. Like she's a kitten stalking a ball of yarn. She gets to the wall and pulls herself up. She starts banging on it.
Strange. She usually goes for the dresser with its bottles and combs; the window with its blinds and cords. Why the plain wall?
She moves her head from side to side, she bends her knees and then pops back up. She hits the wall again, first with one hand, then with the other. She laughs.
"Look," says her dad, "she's playing with her shadow."
Strange. She usually goes for the dresser with its bottles and combs; the window with its blinds and cords. Why the plain wall?
She moves her head from side to side, she bends her knees and then pops back up. She hits the wall again, first with one hand, then with the other. She laughs.
"Look," says her dad, "she's playing with her shadow."
October 21, 2008
Naivety
I'm not an expert. I've never raised a child before. But I can't help thinking that a few things are wrong, even though it seems that everybody does them.
Like, when your baby is crying, it doesn't seem useful or positive to put them in front of the mirror and say,
"See how you look, crying like that?"
Or when you are around other children and your child is agitated and the other child is calm, to say,
"Look how nice and sweet so-and-so is. Not like you, cranky and mean!"
Or worse, when you already have a child and have another one. Of course the older child is going to have more "behavioral lapses" than the new born baby. When this happens, you say,
"Oh, the new baby is so nice and quiet. Not a cry baby like you."
Whether you find it hard to believe or not, being around more and more parents, I find that many use these tactics to try and get their kids to behave.
Why? What does it accomplish? Making your baby ashamed of his emotions? Learning that he is less desirable than the world's other children? Than your other children?
You may think it is not a big deal. That it is a normal thing that everyone does.
It may be common but I do not believe it is normal.
At the risk of sounding like I am trying to save all the world's problems, I will say that perhaps many of the pains that we inflict on ourselves as adolescents and adults stem from these "normal" things our parents said to us as children.
Not that they did it to hurt us. They heard it from their parents too, and it seems to be effective in the moment.
When my neighbor says something like this to his son, his son is quiet. But is anyone looking at his face? He is ashamed. He is embarrassed. He knows now that his father prefers his brother to him. So he soon begins to jump all over him, begging his dad to play with him. His dad shoves him off. He's watching TV. He's in the way.
I don't know. My baby doesn't misbehave yet in a way that requires disciplinary action. Will I resort to these phrases? Will I tell her she is a bad girl? That she is bothering me? That she is in my way?
I was told these things as a child. They stay in my mind. They don't cause me night mares or panic attacks but they effect how I act when meeting new people. When starting a new job. I don't want to bother any body. Don't want to make any body mad.
Again, this is a subject I'll have to revisit later.
And maybe it sounds trivial.
But this is only because everyone does it. And it's easy.
It's harder to focus your attention away from whatever you are doing and think of a constructive way to deal with your child.
Or help them. They don't know very much. They need help, not to be "dealt with". They are not criminals.
They only want our attention. Or something tangible like food or sleep. (Is sleep tangible?). How hard is it to find out?
How easy is it to throw an insult their way. And again, make them more worried about whether or not you are happy with them than if they are happy with themselves.
Think about yourself. What you think about yourself. Then think about all the things we tell our children to get them to behave in the moment. Think about what you were told as a child. Do any of them correspond with your current feelings about yourself?
Once again, you may say, "Big deal, poor you, I'm playing the world's smallest violin." But, just think about it tonight when you go to bed. Watch, listen, and think about it later.
Like, when your baby is crying, it doesn't seem useful or positive to put them in front of the mirror and say,
"See how you look, crying like that?"
Or when you are around other children and your child is agitated and the other child is calm, to say,
"Look how nice and sweet so-and-so is. Not like you, cranky and mean!"
Or worse, when you already have a child and have another one. Of course the older child is going to have more "behavioral lapses" than the new born baby. When this happens, you say,
"Oh, the new baby is so nice and quiet. Not a cry baby like you."
Whether you find it hard to believe or not, being around more and more parents, I find that many use these tactics to try and get their kids to behave.
Why? What does it accomplish? Making your baby ashamed of his emotions? Learning that he is less desirable than the world's other children? Than your other children?
You may think it is not a big deal. That it is a normal thing that everyone does.
It may be common but I do not believe it is normal.
At the risk of sounding like I am trying to save all the world's problems, I will say that perhaps many of the pains that we inflict on ourselves as adolescents and adults stem from these "normal" things our parents said to us as children.
Not that they did it to hurt us. They heard it from their parents too, and it seems to be effective in the moment.
When my neighbor says something like this to his son, his son is quiet. But is anyone looking at his face? He is ashamed. He is embarrassed. He knows now that his father prefers his brother to him. So he soon begins to jump all over him, begging his dad to play with him. His dad shoves him off. He's watching TV. He's in the way.
I don't know. My baby doesn't misbehave yet in a way that requires disciplinary action. Will I resort to these phrases? Will I tell her she is a bad girl? That she is bothering me? That she is in my way?
I was told these things as a child. They stay in my mind. They don't cause me night mares or panic attacks but they effect how I act when meeting new people. When starting a new job. I don't want to bother any body. Don't want to make any body mad.
Again, this is a subject I'll have to revisit later.
And maybe it sounds trivial.
But this is only because everyone does it. And it's easy.
It's harder to focus your attention away from whatever you are doing and think of a constructive way to deal with your child.
Or help them. They don't know very much. They need help, not to be "dealt with". They are not criminals.
They only want our attention. Or something tangible like food or sleep. (Is sleep tangible?). How hard is it to find out?
How easy is it to throw an insult their way. And again, make them more worried about whether or not you are happy with them than if they are happy with themselves.
Think about yourself. What you think about yourself. Then think about all the things we tell our children to get them to behave in the moment. Think about what you were told as a child. Do any of them correspond with your current feelings about yourself?
Once again, you may say, "Big deal, poor you, I'm playing the world's smallest violin." But, just think about it tonight when you go to bed. Watch, listen, and think about it later.
October 17, 2008
Graduation Recipes
At around 9 months of age, you may be starting to transition your baby from purees to chunkier food.
At dinner time, you may sometimes find yourself at a loss. She is still too small to eat what you made for dinner if you made steak or burgers or chicken stir fry or spicy tomato sauce. But making a special meal for her now is a little more complicated than just boiling and blending a sweet potato.
So, what is the solution?
Here are a few recipes that are baby safe and friendly and still delicious for the adults at the table:
Teeny Pasta Soup
If you don't want to add chicken, this is a great side soup for a main course of grilled chicken or steak or anything else you might want for dinner that night.
Beef Stew
P.S. Rice and beans are a perfect meal for your little one, or even rice by itself if you happen to be having that.
Or you could add some avocado to the beans or rice if you'd like.
At dinner time, you may sometimes find yourself at a loss. She is still too small to eat what you made for dinner if you made steak or burgers or chicken stir fry or spicy tomato sauce. But making a special meal for her now is a little more complicated than just boiling and blending a sweet potato.
So, what is the solution?
Here are a few recipes that are baby safe and friendly and still delicious for the adults at the table:
Teeny Pasta Soup
- Place 3 tomatoes, 1/4 of an onion, and one clove of garlic with 1 cup of water in the blender. Liquefy.
- In a large pot, toast some small pasta. Use stars or "pumpkin seed pasta". That's exactly what it's called. They look like little seeds. Use about half a pound. Toast it in some oil until it starts to brown.
- Add the tomato puree you just blended to the pasta.
- Add two cups of chicken broth.
- Bring to a boil and cook until pasta is soft.
- Salt to taste if you wish.
- Boil a chicken breast
- Cool and shred
- Saute the shredded chicken with the pasta while it is still toasting.
- Add tomato sauce. Follow the rest of the above recipe.
If you don't want to add chicken, this is a great side soup for a main course of grilled chicken or steak or anything else you might want for dinner that night.
Beef Stew
- Make your tomato puree in the blender again
- Cut three potatoes into small cubes
- Slice 2 or 3 carrots
- Slice half an onion
- Slice 2 stalks of celery
- Cut 3 ears of corn in half
- Saute the potatoes and carrots in a large pot for about 7 minutes
- Add the stew meat
- When the meat has some color, add the onions, celery and corn. Add a smidgen of water Cover.
- After about 7 minutes, add the tomato puree with two cups of chicken broth. Bring to a boil. Let simmer for about an hour.
P.S. Rice and beans are a perfect meal for your little one, or even rice by itself if you happen to be having that.
Or you could add some avocado to the beans or rice if you'd like.
October 16, 2008
Elmo
Tickle Me Elmo scared the noodles out of my daughter. It was given to her as a gift and we were all sure it would crack her up. And then the moment came. Elmo was placed in front of her and turned on.
It even scared me. As he laughs, he falls over violently and then back, in Frankenstein-like, jerky motions, kicking his legs and laughing in a voice that sounds like it's coming from a drive-thru speaker.
My daughter opened her eyes wide and reared back, making a sound that was not quite a cry. It was more like a hee-haw. Seriously. Then she started crying and clawing at the air behind but could not seem to take her terror stricken eyes off of Mr. Elmo.
We tried again.
This time, Elmo fell over onto her legs. He falls hard! And this completely un-did her.
Every time he moves, you can hear gears grinding and his feet are really heavy so they make a very loud knocking sound when they are kicked against the floor. He's not very lovable.
Poor thing.
We haven't turned it on in weeks. Sometimes she crawls over to him and touches an eyeball tentatively. When she sees he's not going to move, she knocks him over and crawls away.
As if she's saying, "Ha! That'll show 'em!"
It even scared me. As he laughs, he falls over violently and then back, in Frankenstein-like, jerky motions, kicking his legs and laughing in a voice that sounds like it's coming from a drive-thru speaker.
My daughter opened her eyes wide and reared back, making a sound that was not quite a cry. It was more like a hee-haw. Seriously. Then she started crying and clawing at the air behind but could not seem to take her terror stricken eyes off of Mr. Elmo.
We tried again.
This time, Elmo fell over onto her legs. He falls hard! And this completely un-did her.
Every time he moves, you can hear gears grinding and his feet are really heavy so they make a very loud knocking sound when they are kicked against the floor. He's not very lovable.
Poor thing.
We haven't turned it on in weeks. Sometimes she crawls over to him and touches an eyeball tentatively. When she sees he's not going to move, she knocks him over and crawls away.
As if she's saying, "Ha! That'll show 'em!"
October 15, 2008
Goodies
Who wants their kids eating buckets of candy in a few weeks? Raise your hand.
Who wants their kids to miss out on all the fun? Raise your hand.
That's what I thought. This is a dilemma many of us are facing so I would like to share with you an idea from an expert.
Thresa has two little boys, Kaleb, 4 and Jude, 3. Last Halloween, Thresa went out and bought fun, inexpensive toys like yo-yos, puzzles, play dough, finger paints, and bubbles. She also purchased sugar free treats that she knew her boys like, such as sugar free pudding, Popsicles and yogurt. Then she put a candy price tag on each item. She told Kaleb (Jude didn't really get it yet) that if he wanted, say, a yo-yo, he had to give up 5 pieces of candy. Something like a monster truck might yield a higher price of 10 pieces of candy.
You could tailor your prizes to your child of course.
Thresa found that her 4-year-old eventually gave up most of his candy in exchange for toys and, after she explained that candy is not healthy for our bodies, gave up the rest for healthier snacks.
Healthy bodies is a talk Thresa has often with her boys which may be why this was so utterly successful for her but I believe that even those of us who have never once had this talk with our children can benefit from this little bartering system.
Now, what to do with all the candy? We certainly should not eat it ourselves! Although we may be tempted to stash in the closet or on top of the fridge in a non see through bag, why don't you take it to work or give it to someone to do so? Place it in a big bowl on a counter or desk. There are usually so many people in a work place that if everyone takes two, it will be gone in a day or two and everyone's happy, healthy and CALM. For the most part, anyway.
And you don't have to spend tons of cash. Hit the dollar store for your treats and you'll get more for your money.
Thank you, Thresa!
By the way, I don't think there's any harm in stashing a few pieces of candy, do you?
Who wants their kids to miss out on all the fun? Raise your hand.
That's what I thought. This is a dilemma many of us are facing so I would like to share with you an idea from an expert.
Thresa has two little boys, Kaleb, 4 and Jude, 3. Last Halloween, Thresa went out and bought fun, inexpensive toys like yo-yos, puzzles, play dough, finger paints, and bubbles. She also purchased sugar free treats that she knew her boys like, such as sugar free pudding, Popsicles and yogurt. Then she put a candy price tag on each item. She told Kaleb (Jude didn't really get it yet) that if he wanted, say, a yo-yo, he had to give up 5 pieces of candy. Something like a monster truck might yield a higher price of 10 pieces of candy.
You could tailor your prizes to your child of course.
Thresa found that her 4-year-old eventually gave up most of his candy in exchange for toys and, after she explained that candy is not healthy for our bodies, gave up the rest for healthier snacks.
Healthy bodies is a talk Thresa has often with her boys which may be why this was so utterly successful for her but I believe that even those of us who have never once had this talk with our children can benefit from this little bartering system.
Now, what to do with all the candy? We certainly should not eat it ourselves! Although we may be tempted to stash in the closet or on top of the fridge in a non see through bag, why don't you take it to work or give it to someone to do so? Place it in a big bowl on a counter or desk. There are usually so many people in a work place that if everyone takes two, it will be gone in a day or two and everyone's happy, healthy and CALM. For the most part, anyway.
And you don't have to spend tons of cash. Hit the dollar store for your treats and you'll get more for your money.
Thank you, Thresa!
By the way, I don't think there's any harm in stashing a few pieces of candy, do you?
October 14, 2008
RE: The Belly
This is a response I got from my good friend in California to last weeks blog about Belly Fat.
"I also hate the magazines that praise mothers for getting their baby weight off.
Thank you main stream media for glorifying great moms, or good parenting, or spending time with your kids, or sacrifice...no, instead your greatness is identified only by your size two body being back. Thank God we can look at you again, because that extra weight...it was unbearable.
uhhhh.."
I got so many great responses from all of you concerning this topic! Thank you all for your support!
P.S. Ms. Foo is waving, clapping, starting to high five, dancing to music, imitating her dad when he burps, and laughing her behind off all the time.
I LOVE MS. FOO!!!
And I love all of you, too.
October 10, 2008
Don't forget!
The most important thing to remember in the first few weeks of being alone with your baby: YOU HAVE TO EAT!
In the very beginning, there is a swarm of people surrounding you, wanting to hold the baby and hopefully making you some chicken soup. But after about six weeks, you will inevitably find yourself alone sometimes. Maybe even for a whole day. As you are trying to understand the rhythm of life with your new baby and how to juggle showers and laundry with feedings every two hours and five poopy diapers a day, you may reach 3 in the afternoon and realize you have not eaten.
And this may be the most important thing you do for yourself because if you are not well fed, you will not have body strength or mental lucidity to make good choices for your baby.
Eat well. Sounds easier than it really is. What do you eat? When do you have time to prepare a healthy meal? How do you not just grab five chocolate chip cookies for breakfast?
You keep healthy foods in your house that you can grab and eat.
Grapes. Baby carrots, popcorn, bananas, cherry tomatoes, good whole-grain cereal like total and honey bunches of oats(not cinnamon toast crunch or trix), raisins for your cereal, cold cuts and cheese, rice cakes, peanut butter, yogurt, hummus. Keep frozen strawberries on hand and throw them in the blender with milk or orange juice and a banana. Make these items part of your grocery list and just plain leave out the cookies and ice cream for a while. If you don't, you will end up eating these all day because they are easy. But the foods mentioned above are easy too, hardly require any preparation and are HEALTHY!
Soon, you will find a balance and you will learn to do almost everything with one hand while you carry your baby. But for now, concentrate on getting enough rest (nap with your baby) and eating well. The laundry will get done. Your strength is more important.
In the very beginning, there is a swarm of people surrounding you, wanting to hold the baby and hopefully making you some chicken soup. But after about six weeks, you will inevitably find yourself alone sometimes. Maybe even for a whole day. As you are trying to understand the rhythm of life with your new baby and how to juggle showers and laundry with feedings every two hours and five poopy diapers a day, you may reach 3 in the afternoon and realize you have not eaten.
And this may be the most important thing you do for yourself because if you are not well fed, you will not have body strength or mental lucidity to make good choices for your baby.
Eat well. Sounds easier than it really is. What do you eat? When do you have time to prepare a healthy meal? How do you not just grab five chocolate chip cookies for breakfast?
You keep healthy foods in your house that you can grab and eat.
Grapes. Baby carrots, popcorn, bananas, cherry tomatoes, good whole-grain cereal like total and honey bunches of oats(not cinnamon toast crunch or trix), raisins for your cereal, cold cuts and cheese, rice cakes, peanut butter, yogurt, hummus. Keep frozen strawberries on hand and throw them in the blender with milk or orange juice and a banana. Make these items part of your grocery list and just plain leave out the cookies and ice cream for a while. If you don't, you will end up eating these all day because they are easy. But the foods mentioned above are easy too, hardly require any preparation and are HEALTHY!
Soon, you will find a balance and you will learn to do almost everything with one hand while you carry your baby. But for now, concentrate on getting enough rest (nap with your baby) and eating well. The laundry will get done. Your strength is more important.
October 9, 2008
Barrel of Monkeys
I've found out the Ms. Foo, who is 9 months old, loves to play Barrel of Monkeys! Of all the colorful, blinking, flashing, singing, spinning toys we have bought her, this plain green barrel of monkeys has been her favorite.
I sit across from her and begin play alone, pulling apes out of the barrel, connecting them, putting them back in, starting again. Ms. Foo pulls them out, puts one half way in her mouth, clutches one in each hand, and bounces up and down. I just keep going, quietly singing a song that recites the names of our whole family as she pulls at the little green plastic chain, dumps over the barrel, grabs fistfuls of monkeys. She even tries to help me make the chain but has not developed the motor skills to connect them yet. She just touches the chain with the one she is holding and then looks at me a bit confused.
Of course, this has to be a supervised game because they could possibly be choked on if not watched carefully. But it's really fun! We have actually played this game for 30 MINUTES! That is a record. And it cost less than $3.
I sit across from her and begin play alone, pulling apes out of the barrel, connecting them, putting them back in, starting again. Ms. Foo pulls them out, puts one half way in her mouth, clutches one in each hand, and bounces up and down. I just keep going, quietly singing a song that recites the names of our whole family as she pulls at the little green plastic chain, dumps over the barrel, grabs fistfuls of monkeys. She even tries to help me make the chain but has not developed the motor skills to connect them yet. She just touches the chain with the one she is holding and then looks at me a bit confused.
Of course, this has to be a supervised game because they could possibly be choked on if not watched carefully. But it's really fun! We have actually played this game for 30 MINUTES! That is a record. And it cost less than $3.
October 8, 2008
The Wonderous Grocery Store Travels
The other day I went to three different stores and only bought some meat, avocados, and cheese. It was great. I left Ms. Foo at home with her dad and walked all over the neighborhood. I took my headphones, a big, baggy hooded sweatshirt and big sunglasses. I wanted to be incognito. I went to the health food store looking for this magic soap everyone is raving about. It was, of course, the price of a professional spa treatment. I did not buy it. I stopped at a vending table outside on the sidewalk and looked at the hand made earrings. I went to a tiny market looking for avocados but they were no good. I walked some more. Glanced at the out door thrift market. Wandered on down to the bakery where there was no bread for some reason so I bought none. Meandered back to the grocery store. Bought a few things. Chatted with the woman who bags groceries. She asked for the baby. I told her she was at home with her dad.
"That's great!" she said.
And it was. Not everyone is able to commit to a weekly class or group and for some of us, a part time job would only bring in enough money to pay for someone to watch the baby while we are at work. And, as I have mentioned before, some days you feel like pulling your hair out. But, you know what? I always have to go to the grocery store. And I have decided to go it alone, if I can. It can be a nice, long walk or drive. I am not far away if I have to rush home for some reason.
It cleared my head, I didn't spend money I didn't absolutely have to, and I didn't have one iota of guilt.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
"That's great!" she said.
And it was. Not everyone is able to commit to a weekly class or group and for some of us, a part time job would only bring in enough money to pay for someone to watch the baby while we are at work. And, as I have mentioned before, some days you feel like pulling your hair out. But, you know what? I always have to go to the grocery store. And I have decided to go it alone, if I can. It can be a nice, long walk or drive. I am not far away if I have to rush home for some reason.
It cleared my head, I didn't spend money I didn't absolutely have to, and I didn't have one iota of guilt.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
October 7, 2008
The Belly
At what point to people think it's ok to comment on your weight? Do they think they are doing you a favor, pointing out something you had over looked? You know, I just had a baby. And I do not have a personal trainer. So I still have a belly. So does every one else that had a baby around the same time I did. Is it something I should be ashamed of?
A friend of mine with a 7 month old little boy recently went to the dermatologist to see about a strange itch on her belly and was offered laser surgery to fix her belly.
My neighbor with a three month old baby gets asked, "Your still pregnant?"
Once, a woman I had just met at a barbecue said how much she missed babies now that her kids were grown and then said, "So, you're pregnant again?" Then when I declined a shot of tequila another woman said in a very loud aside, "She's pregnant, right?"
NO!
You know, people had more tact when I actually was pregnant.
People I used to work with:
"Wow, you really...grew. Are you pregnant again?"
Yes, I grew. Yes, my belly protrudes a little. Yes, I have stretch marks. And you know what? I LOVE IT! I grew and carried a baby in this body! And I really believe that this little pouch I have is what is feeding my baby (I breast feed) as it is slowly disappearing as she grows. I know that I had healthy habits during my pregnancy and continue to do so. (Not that I don't love chocolate cake). When I look at my self in the mirror, I feel strong and proud.
But when I go out, I think every one's eyes go straight to my belly. I even ask people I feel more comfortable with, "What are you looking at? My belly? My fat belly?" I feel like everyone is disappointed with me for not being able to fit into my pre pregnancy jeans yet.
But the truth is, I don't care about that! I have a baby, and this is all part of it. I think I look great! And so does my neighbor and my friend with the itchy belly. (That just means that you are healing from birth).
It took nine months for your body to grow with child. It takes about a year to get back to "normal". It's such a beautiful time. Hormones raging and your brand new menstrual cycle getting kicked off. Getting to hold your child all the time and watch her learn to talk and move about. Why can't they just let us revel in that, it will never happen again, not in this same way. Why can't they let us have our belly fat?
The next time some one asks me if I am pregnant while I am holding my relatively new born baby, I'm going to say
"No. I just love to eat." or, "No, are you?" Ha ha! Thanks to my two aunts for those responses, by the way.
I love this new body that I have. It makes me feel solid and accomplished. But that does not mean it does not hurt when people are insensitive and mean.
I find myself looking at others who recently had babies, comparing my self to them.
It's strange the strength of both sides of my feelings. Like they belong to two different people.
One connected to the mother spirit, confident in her purpose.
The other shying off to the corners, sucking in her belly.
My life is a Ferris wheel. Do you ever feel that way?
A friend of mine with a 7 month old little boy recently went to the dermatologist to see about a strange itch on her belly and was offered laser surgery to fix her belly.
My neighbor with a three month old baby gets asked, "Your still pregnant?"
Once, a woman I had just met at a barbecue said how much she missed babies now that her kids were grown and then said, "So, you're pregnant again?" Then when I declined a shot of tequila another woman said in a very loud aside, "She's pregnant, right?"
NO!
You know, people had more tact when I actually was pregnant.
People I used to work with:
"Wow, you really...grew. Are you pregnant again?"
Yes, I grew. Yes, my belly protrudes a little. Yes, I have stretch marks. And you know what? I LOVE IT! I grew and carried a baby in this body! And I really believe that this little pouch I have is what is feeding my baby (I breast feed) as it is slowly disappearing as she grows. I know that I had healthy habits during my pregnancy and continue to do so. (Not that I don't love chocolate cake). When I look at my self in the mirror, I feel strong and proud.
But when I go out, I think every one's eyes go straight to my belly. I even ask people I feel more comfortable with, "What are you looking at? My belly? My fat belly?" I feel like everyone is disappointed with me for not being able to fit into my pre pregnancy jeans yet.
But the truth is, I don't care about that! I have a baby, and this is all part of it. I think I look great! And so does my neighbor and my friend with the itchy belly. (That just means that you are healing from birth).
It took nine months for your body to grow with child. It takes about a year to get back to "normal". It's such a beautiful time. Hormones raging and your brand new menstrual cycle getting kicked off. Getting to hold your child all the time and watch her learn to talk and move about. Why can't they just let us revel in that, it will never happen again, not in this same way. Why can't they let us have our belly fat?
The next time some one asks me if I am pregnant while I am holding my relatively new born baby, I'm going to say
"No. I just love to eat." or, "No, are you?" Ha ha! Thanks to my two aunts for those responses, by the way.
I love this new body that I have. It makes me feel solid and accomplished. But that does not mean it does not hurt when people are insensitive and mean.
I find myself looking at others who recently had babies, comparing my self to them.
It's strange the strength of both sides of my feelings. Like they belong to two different people.
One connected to the mother spirit, confident in her purpose.
The other shying off to the corners, sucking in her belly.
My life is a Ferris wheel. Do you ever feel that way?
October 3, 2008
A question and some celery
I received a question asking which Grandmother's gave the advice for yesterday's blog.
Well, onion tea was given to me by a sweet woman who is Ms. Foo's adopted Grandmother. Ms. Foo is named after her and we love her very much.
The ginger tea was a remedy used by my husband's grandmother in Mexico.
The tomato and salt on the throat was given to me by my own grandmother on my mother's side.
And, finally, the boiled rice water by my neighbor's grandmother in Macedonia.
The question also asked if they work.
I have personally tried the onion and ginger teas and have found them SUPER effective. I have also given the recipe to a few other people and they have come back to me astounded at their strength.
I have not tried the tomato yet, but my grandmother has never given me advice that did not carry.
The rice water I have not tried either but I have heard it from a few other people, including the woman who suggested the onion tea.
AND here is another one for colicky babies:
Boil celery. Mix one ounce of it's water in a bottle with baby's milk or plain water or juice.
Usually, colicky baby's become fussy at around the same time every day. If you administer the celery water about half an hour before your baby gets fussy, it will really help if not get rid of the problem.
I helped care for a colicky baby a few years ago. He was crying and crying. The upstairs neighbor came down stairs with a stalk of celery in her hand and told us about this remedy. We gave it to him and he fell fast asleep. So, I know this one works.
Well, onion tea was given to me by a sweet woman who is Ms. Foo's adopted Grandmother. Ms. Foo is named after her and we love her very much.
The ginger tea was a remedy used by my husband's grandmother in Mexico.
The tomato and salt on the throat was given to me by my own grandmother on my mother's side.
And, finally, the boiled rice water by my neighbor's grandmother in Macedonia.
The question also asked if they work.
I have personally tried the onion and ginger teas and have found them SUPER effective. I have also given the recipe to a few other people and they have come back to me astounded at their strength.
I have not tried the tomato yet, but my grandmother has never given me advice that did not carry.
The rice water I have not tried either but I have heard it from a few other people, including the woman who suggested the onion tea.
AND here is another one for colicky babies:
Boil celery. Mix one ounce of it's water in a bottle with baby's milk or plain water or juice.
Usually, colicky baby's become fussy at around the same time every day. If you administer the celery water about half an hour before your baby gets fussy, it will really help if not get rid of the problem.
I helped care for a colicky baby a few years ago. He was crying and crying. The upstairs neighbor came down stairs with a stalk of celery in her hand and told us about this remedy. We gave it to him and he fell fast asleep. So, I know this one works.
October 2, 2008
Tips from the Grandmothers
- For chest congestion and cough:
Boil it with cinnamon, half a lime and honey
This acts as an expectorant. It will make you cough even more, but you will be coughing up all the phlegm that is in your chest. You will feel much better but you must drink it again in about eight hours.
It doesn't taste at all like onion. It tastes like cinnamon and honey
- For fever:
- For sore throat:
- For baby's sick tummy
October 1, 2008
Fever
So, this is what I have been doing to keep my daughter's fever down
She also said that the most accurate temperature is taken rectally. If you do take it under the arm, you have to add one degree to the reading.
If she still has it tomorrow, it's back to the emergency room!
I'll keep you posted
- baths of lukewarm water and vinegar
- medium thin slices of potato in her socks, underneath her feet and against her belly, tied in place with a bandanna. I tried putting them around her head, but she kept pulling the bandanna off. The potatoes help pull the fever out. You can tell it is working if the potatoes turn black. You can also pour vinegar on the potatoes before placing them on the body.
- dipping receiving blankets in water and vinegar and wrapping her in them
- putting cool wash clothes on her head
- baby Motrin
- the hospital! Her fever went up to 103.6 and we freaked. The doctor said to watch for vomiting or trouble breathing or a fever of 104. He also said if the fever doesn't go away in three days, to bring her back.
- Not sleeping. She wouldn't cry when her fever would get really high. She would stay asleep. It's so scary! What if I had been sleeping? Don't think about it. Just stay up. Funny how you don't get tired. I watched a lot of movies.
- Chamomile tea
- Soothing
She also said that the most accurate temperature is taken rectally. If you do take it under the arm, you have to add one degree to the reading.
If she still has it tomorrow, it's back to the emergency room!
I'll keep you posted
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