Rocking chairs and Nursery themes.

It's hard to know what you will need when preparing for the birth of your first child. You know what you have seen growing up, on TV, and what everyone has told you every time they ask you "What you are planning to do?" and you just don't know yet. You know you need warm clothes, blankets, diapers, a gentle soap. But there are so many things marketed now, so many things people believe they need, that it is a sin to do without.
A rocking chair. Don't forget about a rocking chair. If you don't get a rocking chair, you are going to be sorry. What do you mean you are going to use cloth diapers? A one bedroom apartment? What about the baby's nursery? Hm, we'll see how long that lasts. A single breast pump? You need a double breast pump! I have a double breast pump, you should get one too!
In each and every one of us, there is a steadfast voice sending images to our brain of what we will need for our unique baby in our unique situation. And surrounding that voice are a thousand other one's that are telling us that we are wrong. There are one or two certain people you ask for advice, but they always seem to be at the other end of a large crowd of yapping mouths telling you their expert opinion on why you are making a mistake if you don't use hypnobreathing during your labor and that Super Baby formula is the way to go, it increases DHA levels and makes their hair grow faster and blah blah blah.
Maybe they are afraid. Maybe they know that the world is in trouble and they are trying to save it by changing the way we raise our children. I believe that this is at the heart of all the babble. We know, in our heart of hearts that we could do better. That our parents could have done better. And so now, we are trying to make it right. But no one knows that this is their deep desire.. So they translate it into a need to force you into their way of doing things, to prove themselves...to themselves. If only we would realize that this is and has always been the problem. Not realizing that what works for your neighbor might not work for you and what works for you might not work for your brother's girlfriend is what has caused so many tragedies throughout history. Each of us, left to our own devices, knows inherently what we need to do to survive. Forcing others to follow our way causes confusion, anger, fear, and self doubt.
Now, back to that steadfast voice. When you are waiting for your baby and you lie with your eyes closed, you will tell yourself what it is that you need. Some of us need a rocking chair. Others say they will use the couch or a prop of pillows and worry more about finding a tiny bathtub. Still others will use the kitchen sink as a bathtub and say they want a rich selection of classical music emanating through the air at all times. Is the first baby going to turn out better than the second because his mother had a rocking chair? Is the third baby going to suffer in her adult hood because she was bathed in the sink? No. But if each mother is left to her own instincts, each baby will grow up loved and independent. They will have a strong mother who is sure of her choices. Not a wobbly one who second guesses her self at every turn and inevitably passes that behavior onto her child.
Each of us, unique as a snowflake (snicker, well it's true!), needs different things. My way of coping with labor pain is not what is going to work for you. We can talk, trade ideas, a few will stick, but my dear, I am not crazy or less than you if I do not follow your solitary band wagon. Birth is as beautifully lonesome and private as prayer. Child rearing is as terrifying and gratifying as scaling a mountain. We are not talking about decorating your house or parallel parking your car. We are talking about a great task we have been charged with. "Do this with love" is our only instruction. So, sister, lay those clucking hens that surround you to rest. Put in some ear plugs and scale your mountain.

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