Sharing

Between women, the sharing of information about how each of us is going about caring for our new babies is priceless. Meeting other new mother's at the park is a very encouraging experience. You get to ask what they are doing, if they are feeding solids yet, potty training, where their babies are developmentally and they ask you the same questions and everybody goes home feeling a lot more normal and confidant. Even the most timid women open up at least a little bit when the conversation is about new babies. And it helps to know that you are not the only one who is a little unsure about how she is doing. But sometimes, we leave someone out. That someone is the lone dad at the park. Maybe a lot of women shy away from him because we don't want to seem like we are hitting on him and perhaps he stays away for the same reason. While I don't deny that there are bound to be times when someone is trying to pick up a date, I have learned from experience that this is more the exception than the norm.
FOR EXAMPLE. I was sitting on a bench with my 7 month old baby girl and a father was sitting on the other end with a little girl who looked to be about the same age. He hesitated for about a minute and then asked if he could move over a bit. Of course my first thought was that he wanted to, yes, pick me up, ( how vain of me) but all he wanted to do was put the two little girls close to each other so they could play. And soon another mother came over with her baby and brought out baby cookies and everybody had a grand time. During this time, we all exchanged information about our babies and the dad looked so relieved and happy.
Another dad who looked even more nervous was someone I encountered while playing in a circle with about five kids (including mine) and a rubber ball. This man was caring for a little boy whom he had just adopted and they seemed to still be getting to know one another. As my friend and I talked about our little girls, he seemed to be hanging on every word but would not join the conversation. Finally, my friend noticed and began to talk directly to him. His eyes lit up and he just began asking question after question. On the way home my friend mentioned that it must be hard for dad's who are raising children on their own or are the parent that stays because, as it seems very natural for women to come together and discuss their children's eating habits and bowel movements, men might refrain from asking for fear that we, as mother's, will judge them and think they "don't know what they are doing". Little do they know, none of us knows what we are doing! We are learning day by day and we all need a little compare and contrast session once in a while. So come on over dad's and say hi.